I guess I just also feel so behind maturity wise, I feel like I will be lost since I feel I probably haven’t developed the independent life style i’ll need for adulting. i’m also worried about being able to afford college by myself as i’m going to a big 10 school and will be a college athlete on my own dime, she’s been awful to me and mentally drained me all my life but she’s been the main/ only one financially supporting me— so stepping out of that feels a bit overwhelming