Ask Anything on Yik Yak | Not to be a dick, and I need to change my thinking, but why do college girls kinda enable the bad actions of guys? Like go to a party and get groped, just to go out the next weekend with the same frat crowd. Or get mistreated but stick with it? Idk how..

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Ask Anything 17h

Not to be a dick, and I need to change my thinking, but why do college girls kinda enable the bad actions of guys? Like go to a party and get groped, just to go out the next weekend with the same frat crowd. Or get mistreated but stick with it? Idk how..

Anonymous 17h

If this is genuinely your first time thinking about this, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but this is what's called victim blaming. Instead of saying "it's crazy that men keep groping women and treating them badly" you flipped it around so that women doing normal things like going to a party or being in a relationship are at fault for men doing things TO them.

Anonymous 16h

Bc college aged ppl are still kids with undeveloped brains The final part of your brain to form is the center that controls ability to comprehend consequences/future planning/impulse control/long-term thinking/etc Plus everyone just wants to go out and have fun like everyone else during college. I actually ended up never going out my senior year bc of this tho. Frat parties, house parties, bars, clubs, kickbacks, danger (dangerous men) were everywhere and ruined everything and I was sick of it

Anonymous 11h

Based on countless first hand experiences I’ve seen different so you can’t base it off that. I think to overall improve the situation would be to make more awareness of it in the moment, then you can have your chance to say men are afraid to do wtv u want once they’ve been made aware of the situation and have had the chance to handle it.

Anonymous 9h

If you carry on, it will continue. It’s not what I want, but it’s what happens sorry girl

Anonymous

#1 17h

No it’s 100% the men’s fault, no question there. I’m just curious why some continue to put themselves in the same crowd. Again, no blame on women, this stuff is 100% the man’s fault

Anonymous

OP 17h

You can party in a different setting

Anonymous

OP 17h

Can they? think about it from the perspective of a college girl. all your friends want to go to these types of places, if you're in a sorority you may be expected to be there as a matter of your membership. Something bad happens to you and if you try to bring it up, guys say you're ruining the party and your friends who may support you in private tell you publicly not to make a big deal out of it. you bring it up to someone later and they say "didn't you party there again last weekend?"

Anonymous

#1 17h

Unfortunately that only enables it further

Anonymous

#2 16h

Like can y'all men please start normalizing kicking the shit out of your homies who grope girls? Can y'all denormalize attacking and assaulting girls plz? We just want to live.

Anonymous

#2 15h

usually the saing guys run in packs otherwise they would get their shit checked

Anonymous

#3 11h

Lmao this just isn't true I've also been the one to save many a-girls from harm with many a-men just standing there uselessly. A man has never come to my defense either, but women sure have!! Men talk a very big game about what they'd do in certain situations, until it comes down to that certain situation lol. They become paralyzed with fear. Most times it isn't even an 'idgaf' sentiment, it's genuine fear/panic blocking them from action.

Anonymous

#2 11h

But women are quite used to those sorts of situations, so we jump to action swiftly

Anonymous

#2 11h

The genuine horror in my friend's eyes when me and my homie asked them to get this freak out of our dorm, for instance, was almost funny. 6 dudes. 2 girls begging them for help. All just sweating and shaking their heads. I was like 'Okay fuck you guys, nvm, I'll deal with it 🙄' and I did. Common experience.

Anonymous

#2 11h

I understand somewhat where you’re coming from but you’re throwing generalizations carelessly. I think any good man would take action if made aware. So I think taking the assumption that if one or two of the guys you are hanging with can be handsy, surely you should have some other guy friend, or group of girls, to make it apparent when it occurs. Otherwise, you’re continuously going out without fixing the situation or removing yourself from it so it will continue.

Anonymous

#2 11h

starting to think this guys a sigma male

Anonymous

#3 11h

You'd think so, right? But they don't. I'm 'generalizing' based on countless of my own first-hand experiences, and countless experiences of the women I've known in my life. Also why would anyone be friends with 'handsy' guys who are constantly feeling them up 😭 when we talk about this stuff, we're talking about multiple separate guys, not a homie who likes to grab our boob lmao

Anonymous

#2 11h

But again, usually when it comes down to it, any men present seem to refrain from acting out of fear rather than apathy or evil sentiments Besides when it's multiple guys trying to assault the same girl or duo of girls, that's obviously different lmao

Anonymous

#2 11h

I've seen guys quickly jump to action to break up fist-fights and bar fights tho lmao

Anonymous

#3 9h

Cool, that's exactly what I've been talking about 👍 the men were always extremely aware of the situation

Anonymous

#2 9h

I, or if I was with someone else at the time, we, even directly asked men for help in a few instances

Anonymous

#2 9h

This seems like an issue with friend selection ngl.

Anonymous

#2 9h

Lmao once a guy sobbed to me all morning about how bad he felt about not intervening bc his friend kept groping me while I was crossed and I just kept hitting him but he kept going I was like lmao okay 👍

Anonymous

#3 9h

This has been across multiple areas, multiple situations, multiple age groups, multiple types of people, etc

Anonymous

#2 9h

‘Exactly what you’ve been talking about’ has seemed very anti men instead of looking for the solution to the situation.

Anonymous

#2 9h

I distance from any guy friends once they fail to help

Anonymous

#3 9h

The solution is on you guys tho, the only thing we can do is defend one another or just stay inside for all eternity and become agoraphobic

Anonymous

#2 9h

Like why are you trying to get women to solve the issue that is men assaulting women 😭

Anonymous

#3 9h

The reality is, that IRL, YES IN MODERN DAY, most girls/women have countless horrible stories about assault/molestation/abuse/r*pe/etc. It's extremely common and happens all the time to most girls/women.

Anonymous

#2 9h

It's just super normal to us girls and our reality so that's why we all just be carrying on regardless and not always talking about it.

Anonymous

#2 9h

I’m sorry I don’t have control over that shit. I’m sorry you didn’t have a helpful friend next to you at those times. It’s not my damn fault. If you want to do something about it go tell a damn bouncer or get some mace but directly putting this on all men is dumb. Be more prepared. Think ahead