Ask Anything on Yik Yak | if i can’t have sex or be sexually active, how early should i reveal that to someone im interested in or dating

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Ask Anything 1d

if i can’t have sex or be sexually active, how early should i reveal that to someone im interested in or dating

Anonymous 1d

Fairly early but it doesn’t have to be like, a whole confession moment, and frankly at this stage you don’t have to be honest about the reason. You could just be like ‘yeah I’m ace, I’m not interested in sex’ and then go from there. Bottom line is don’t waste each others time or hurt each other

Anonymous 1d

You should reveal that to them once you’re sure both of you are interested in going further than just one date. I feel like this is something personal that doesn’t have to be mentioned until you’re sure you and that person both have interest in continuing dating/seeing each other. Now you shouldn’t wait too much either because that would be wrong since this is something that can absolutely be a game changer for the other person, but I think you should wait till at least the first date is over

Anonymous 1d

you’ll save yourself several headaches if you lightly reference it in your Bio and on the first date say so again towards the end of

Anonymous 1d

Hey girl! Please dm me! I have a similar situation and have some advice on it. I have severe pain with sex and chose not to have penetrative sex. So if it would help to reach out please do!

Anonymous 1d

does the answer change if I do want to have sex but i just have to get surgery to be able to? it just costs a lot and i don’t see myself dealing w that anytime soon

Anonymous 1d

Wait why can’t you have sex though? You don’t need to give specific details but I’m trying to understand if it’s that you never want to or you physically can’t

Anonymous 1d

On the first date or in a conversation before the first date. It may sound weird but this does change a relationship a lot. Especially for someone who love language is physical touch, there also the question of if your want kids or not ( if you can’t or don’t want them it’s important they know)

Anonymous 1d

within the first hour of them or you signaling dating interest

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Anonymous

#1 1d

They didn’t say they weren’t interested in sex they said they can’t have sex, that’s different from ace why did you automatically jump to titles and one that’s wrong at that 🙄

-2

Anonymous

#3 1d

“love language”…”kids”🙄

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Anonymous

#2 1d

are you sexually active?

-1

Anonymous

#2 1d

And there’s signs a second one could happen. I think it should be after the 1st and only if there are signs another date would happen because what if you go on that first date but one of you ends up realizing you’re actually not interested and no other dates happen? Then I feel like you would have said something personal unnecessarily. But if you see the potential for a second date from both you and them then yes that becomes the point where you should be like “hey so since we both seem interes-

Anonymous

#2 1d

-ted in continuing to see each other there's something you should know about me" or something like that. So essentially it should be whenever you're sure both you and the other person are definitely interested in seeing each other.

Anonymous

#2 1d

Now of course there’s always the possibility you run into someone that doesn’t mind having sex on the first date and is interested in that. Obviously in that case you would have to break it to them right then and there whenever they mention that to you (whether that’s before the date or during/after it).

Anonymous

#4 1d

Why do you ask?

Anonymous

#2 1d

why won’t you answer

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Anonymous

#4 1d

Why you eye rolling that? If someone love language is physical touch and they usually have sexual part too. They need that closeness to feel like they are important. No matter the amount of reassurance they need the touch. Kids are also important to some. They don’t see a future without them. They will resent their partner if they don’t get them. On the other hand some people never want kids. They can’t handle all screaming and extra duties. They want to live for them.

Anonymous

#4 1d

Because this isn’t about me and that’s my private information that I have the right to withhold wtf??? What is wrong with you???

Anonymous

#2 1d

it’s a valid question given how much ‘advice’ your giving on the subject.i didn’t say you have to post it, you could dm your answer…duh

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Anonymous

#4 1d

Straight gooner here

Anonymous

#5 1d

im not straight…guess again

Anonymous

#2 1d

Cause you don’t have to tell someone your medical issues on a first date just to see if you’ll be accepted, so a lie won’t hurt anyone

Anonymous

#3 1d

I do want kids and it’s possible (but not guaranteed) i can through surrogacy and also i’m fine w physical touch (but ig outside actual sex rn)

Anonymous

#4 1d

Okay smart alike🤣

Anonymous

OP 1d

Well yeah it changes especially if you’d be into other stuff. If you’ve got a medical issue that prevents you from having penetrative sex but you can do oral, hand stuff, possibly anal, etc, then that’s very different from nothing sexual at all.

Anonymous

OP 1d

See this is important for someone to know while going on dates with you. Some people don’t like surrogacy or adoption. Also the physical touch stuff helps them comfort you when you actually start dating. As a chronic ill person I dealt with the same about not being able to have kids. Also being ill in any ways is important for the date to know. Some people can’t handle that lifestyle. Some people can.

Anonymous

#9 1d

Also it seems like this is something g that has upset you and I know it sometimes helps to talk about it