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Ask Anything 15w
Should I send my awful toxic ex a letter about what they did to me? I don’t think they fully understand. I have PTSD now and the thought of them being fine and having a good summer makes me so upset. I know they would feel guilty. It’s 5 pages long lol…
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15
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Anonymous 15w

No, it’s always healthier to just not have contact with that person if possible. I know this might be about closure, but I promise that’s not the way. The best revenge is moving on and being happy without them. Sending them that letter just shows them you’re still thinking about them and that they still have power over you. Ignoring them shows them they’re nothing to you anymore

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Anonymous 15w

Girl I sent a twenty page one. He emailed me a year later trying to talk shit about it but he couldn’t bc everything I said was true. Go for it. Get that closure. But that won’t give you total closure bc there will always be smth more to say so just keep that in mind. Don’t do it to try to make them learn from their mistakes , do it so you don’t drown in ur own unspoken words

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Anonymous 15w

Nope. No contact. If you reach out, they will feel empowered.

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Anonymous 15w

Write the letter so you get your feelings out, then toss it. (Or keep it if you want) but you’ll get the feeling out of explaining to them your feelings without the consequences of it

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Anonymous 15w

don’t do it. take the higher road. there’s also the possibility they’ll show their friends your letter and make fun of you for it. don’t cause drama and just be the bigger person. it’s hard, but it’s the better thing to do for your future self imo

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 15w

They don’t even know what they did wrong. I just need them to know. Are you sure I should just leave it?

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 15w

I have the letter, and it’s not helping to just have it. I need them to understand, is there any recommendations u have?

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 15w

I’m sure. The best thing to do is to not worry about them or what they think anymore. It’s not your responsibility to teach them why they shouldn’t have treated you badly, especially if you’re trying to move on from them. It won’t do you any good to teach them empathy or decency, since they’ll be out of your life

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 15w

the hard truth is they do know what they did. they’re grown and are aware of their actions towards others. no explaining will do you any justice. It will blow up in your face if you send that letter. If getting those feelings out through writing or journaling, even a voice memo isn’t working- it’s gonna have to be a lot of will power to forget and move on so you aren’t holding onto resentment and holding yourself back

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 15w

Bro this fucking SUCKS i want them to suffer like i am right now. How can anyone watch someone get assaulted and abused and do nothing? That’s not normal, right? I won’t send the letter but I don’t understand how they can be aware that they did that I hate this

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 15w

They’re at my school for the next few years and we have mutual friends… trust me, I’m moved on, but I hold so much anger towards them and idk what to do to get it to go away I hate feeling like this

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 15w

I’ve been through it too…at the end of the day just moving on knowing I’ll never get that closure or apology and acting like it’s getting over any breakup was the way. Took awhile but you gotta just stay strong

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 15w

Ok this makes sense thanks I know I’d be sending it just to try to help fix them and that won’t help me ur right

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 15w

If ur going to do it just keep in mind it won’t change them. It won’t make them realize the pain they caused. Don’t do it to try to fix them or make them realize their errors. Don’t do it for them. Do it for yourself. Get everything out of your system.

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 15w

I was definitely writing it for them. Idk how to help myself at this point. Guess it’s time to explore that more, thanks!

upvote 3 downvote