It’ll be 20 years for me in that situation in the next few weeks. I share a short tidbit before we date and then more of what happened when I have the capacity to. The summer is the toughest time for me and is marked by more struggles, more breakdowns, etc., so I don’t have much space to not share that I’m not doing well, why, and that it’s okay for them to take a little more space at times.

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Wait a bit before completely opening up but I thinks it’s ok to say how you’re overall feeling

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It's not trauma dumping to share who you are, just don't make it a big story. Tell him simply, straight up. People like it when they feel confided in. It will also help him take the news if you give him a way to make it feel like he's helping you. "I've been missing my dad lately and we used to go to this place. Would you go with me on this day?" "Wym missing your dad?" "He passed 18 months ago actually" "omg I'm so sorry..." "going here will help" "ok let's go"

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I talked on the first date about my shitty relationship with my parents/family while the guy told me how his mom passed when he was seven and his dad takes up all his extra time forcing him to do manual labor and raise his siblings. I don’t understand why such a major part of your recent past needs to be tiptoed around.. does your bf not know your dad has passed? I’d personally feel like a bad partner for not knowing something like that.

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I don't think that's trauma dumping. It's completely reasonable to be upset and a good partner should be ready to listen and comfort you.

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