i know this is hard to hear but she is definitely in pain and doesn’t want to show you because she loves you. it’s a big step but she would be much happier if you made that hard decision. nothing can replace those memories but sometimes picking up a new responsibility makes it easier to cope. a club, new hobby, maybe even a fish or a new cat. you’re not alone.
Thank you for your story but she would have a very poor quality of life if I let her live like this much longer. She has to breathe solely through her mouth which isn’t good for cats and no longer enjoy many of the activities and foods she used to love. I can’t keep seeing her decline like this and struggle to walk, eat, etc.