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AITA, if I get tired on continuously reassuring my bf that he's not a bad person or bf? basically whenever he gets high or drunk he continuously says that he's sorry for being a bad bf or a bad person even though he's not...
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Anonymous 1d

Nah, you arent the asshole. my guess is he's really depressed, and thats why he's constantly looking to you for reassurance, but that doesn't make it acceptable. it isn't your job to make him love himself, and trying to carry that responsibility is naturally gonna be exhausting

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Anonymous 19h

i feel like he should go to therapy

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Anonymous 19h

You should look this up but this is reassurance seeking or emotional validation, and in anxious attachment relationships. Your bf is probably not doing it on purpose, but he is making you responsible for his emotional stability by making you confirm he isn’t bad. Instead of reassuring him, it might be better to ask “what makes you think that way?” Or “how can we work on making you feel like a better person/bf?”

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Anonymous 1d

and I keep telling him that, when he's sober and drunk/high. and no matter how many times I tell him, he doesn't seem to believe it. so AITA if I'm getting tired of constantly having to reassure him?

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Anonymous 16h

Either he needs therapy or he actually did something wrong

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 19h

so is there anything I can do to help him in anyway?

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 19h

This shifts the responsibility of his emotions to be back on him, not you. Ofc it’s ok to tell him that he’s not a bad person, but you also clearly are tired of this dynamic and it’s draining YOU. You are taking care of two emotional spaces.

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