
i feel really bad for the dishonesty and the initial hiding but i legitimately did not think anything was going to happen so i didnāt find it necessary to tell her how i felt. she had also not told him or talked to him about it, and from what iāve heard, heās liked me for around the same amount of time that ive liked him. i just donāt know what to do because i donāt like that i hurt her or that i might hurt her more but it would also hurt me so much to not pursue something like this
girl stop acting like a victim. you LIED to your friend for months, and then fucked the guy you actively encouraged her to pursue. thats a bitch move and i would not be your friend again. you fucked up and betrayed her. you shouldve been honest from the get-go and tell her you liked him too. the fact he liked you too does not dismiss your shitty actions. be honest if your friend and let her choose whether or not she wants you in her life. you are the AH and no context will change my mind
and i honestly dgaf if it would āhurt you so muchā. you betrayed one of your closest friends šš live with that decision sweetheart. clearly a man is more important than your friendship because other wise you would not have pursued him, or at the very least tell her about it immediately. the choice is now yours, her or a guy. choose wisely.
i genuinely did not think that i was going to pursue him though, even before she told me, thatās what im saying. like i didnāt tell anybody anything about it or do anything about it up until friday when i was INCREDIBLY wasted. and ive liked him for this entire semester and she only told me around a month ago. i know i should have been honest but in my mind, nothing was going to happen with it and me telling her wouldāve just been complicated. iām very aware that i fucked up on multiple levels.
Idk what this vitriol is about #1, OP got caught in an awkward situation but the way youāre framing it as lengthy and calculated deception is just too much. OP couldāve ideally said she liked him too but they didnāt Intend to act on it so itās fair to not mention it. Also OPās actions wonāt change the fact that this guy is into her, not the friend. Sucks for the friend but this is just how it goes sometimes
Iāve also been in this position where me and a friend both like the same person but that person likes me and not them. You want to look out for your friend but you canāt control the person liking you more. Best you can do is to explain the situation and genuinely apologize for the hurt it caused them, despite it not being in your control. It might hurt (it did for me) but this is absolutely something friends can get over
I agree. Shit happens and itās not like she meant to hurt the other girl, itās just a weird situation. And clearly shee feels bad abt it bc sheās thinking abt it sm, if she was truly evil then this wouldnāt bother her at all. Honestly, OP- I think itās okay that you got with him especially since he has liked you for some time now too. Just be honest w the girl and have a talk w her and if her friendship is more important to u and stronger than ur feelings for the guy, then yall should both drā¦