AITA on Yik Yak | My bf has medical OCD and one of his irrational fears is contracting an STD. We haven’t had sex raw yet because of this and I just got an STD test a month ago and came back clear for everything. I was excited because I figured this meant we could have raw

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AITA 3d

My bf has medical OCD and one of his irrational fears is contracting an STD. We haven’t had sex raw yet because of this and I just got an STD test a month ago and came back clear for everything. I was excited because I figured this meant we could have raw

Anonymous 3d

NTA, might be good for him to get some therapy

Anonymous 3d

Sex finally and he was excited too. Then all of a sudden he texted me today asking me to get another std test before I see him in January— mind you I haven’t had sex since the last one since we are mono and LD. I feel super hurt by this and told him that I felt like he didn’t trust me and that he was insinuating that I was cheating on him, however now I feel bad as I know his irrational fears are something he cannot control… it just frustrates me and IDK AITA?

Anonymous 3d

NTA, my boyfriend also has OCD and it took a ton of therapy and even medication for him to manage it. You’re completely good and fine to not give into the irrationality/compulsions, he needs to re-evaluate how he manages his OCD. If he’s already in therapy/medication, it sounds like he needs to up the dose on either.

Anonymous 2d

You shouldn’t be pressuring him into having sex raw if he isn’t wanting to. Especially if he’s not doing that to you

Anonymous

OP 3d

As someone with OCD a lot of fears are irrational but feel very real and possible, but it can often do more harm then good to give in to the compulsive need to quadruple check things. STD tests are smart for everyone, but you should not do another one, you both know you don’t have stds, also has he taken a test?

Anonymous

#1 3d

Yes he gets one like once a month even if we haven’t had sex in months because he’s so afraid of contracting one… even from touching surfaces or sharing drinks. He doesn’t open doors without holding out a cloth and always washes his hands multiple times in one outing. I understand his ocd but I think stressing me out with them is not fair either.

Anonymous

#2 3d

I agree, it’s untreated…

Anonymous

OP 3d

Is he in therapy? I’m for real about giving into compulsions makes it so much worse

Anonymous

#1 3d

No he’s not in therapy

Anonymous

OP 3d

He really should be

Anonymous

#4 2d

I wasn’t, he brought it up first and I was like yeah let’s do it! But when he then went back on what he said and told me he was uncomfortable I didn’t press any further. I simply told him that I wasn’t going to get another STD test because it’s a waste of money and that we would just wear a condom instead. No pressure from me at all… I’m a victim of SA so I take consent very seriously

Anonymous

#3 2d

He isn’t in either, but I did tell him that I wish he would consider going to therapy because I see how much his ocd affects his life. Unfortunately for men it’s such a taboo thing :/

Anonymous

OP 2d

Ohh my fault yes I see your side better now :))

Anonymous

#4 2d

It’s okay! I’m sorry I didn’t come across clear enough! My intentions are 100% consensual I promise haha

Anonymous

OP 1d

hmmm you’re both kinda right, but i think he’s overdoing it a bit. for one id recommend he doesn’t share drinks with ppl if he’s concerned with stds bc you can get hsv1 from that. also some stds can show negative once and show positive the next time even if you haven’t had sex in between testing. which is why i say you’re both right in a way. you shouldn’t have to get tested so much if he’s that scared, just tell him nvm on the raw sex thing if it really bothers him that much. (1/2)

Anonymous

OP 1d

and he shouldn’t constantly be badgering you to get tested all the time bc you’re right it does come off as a lack of trust