Definitely NTA. This is your future too if you’re gonna get married, and if you can’t reliably depend on the other half of your life to stick to a plan and follow it, then there’s reason to be concerned.

28

My advice is get out while you still can he needs to figure himself out without you otherwise your just going to be dragged down with him

20

Ik it’s been stressful for him but he literally says a different plan as if he’s definitely going to do it like all the time and then doesn’t do it and I feel like I’m being dragged along and getting whiplash imagining which future I’m gonna have with him and I’ve told him that I feel this way when he switches up and can’t decide and he gets really mad and says I’m making him feel the lowest he’s ever felt

18

He says he is gonna study for the lsat and tells my whole family that including distant family members and they all think he’s gonna be a lawyer, but now he’s telling me he wants to be a teacher or a cop or something and idek

12

I just was raised to have a plan and stick to it and pursue it wholeheartedly

12

I think at the end of the day you have to be selfish because nobody is gonna have your back like yourself and you are gonna end up disappointed or feeling like you missed out because you are putting his needs over yours fuck him and get money

11

So he literally said he feels like me and my parents are pushing him to go to law school so now he’s not doing it simply for that reason which seems to be giving red flag vibes

8

My ex was like this and it really had a strain on our relationship. He kinda resented me for having a plan and knowing what I wanted to do. I would sit down and try to talk to him about this and see why he can’t stick to the plan.

7

in my opinion you’re def NTA bc it’s not only his future, it involves you and it def puts a strain on how you feel too. it’s not always easy figuring it out so try to be patient and try to be supportive

7

Also he feels like I’ve been pushing him towards law school for years which I kinda have I mean he applied and got rejected and has said he was gonna apply again and changed his mind multiple times and this might make me sound like an asshole fr but think I just was raised with money and security and I always wanted my spouse to have a good job that makes money now that isn’t the only factor but to me that’s something people should consider and my bf disagrees

5

So basically I just feel like he’s always saying things and not going through with them in other areas too like one day he said he wants to marry me rn and the next day he said he wants us to break up and it hurt his feelings a lot that I accuse him of being inconsistent and am I am asshole for all of this

5

I d get out of there

4

Am I wrong for freaking out

3

Id tell him how much it stresses you for the future of both of you and kids if that’s something you’re planning for. Ask him if maybe he could talk to an advisor. Tell him you’ll go with him if he doesn’t want to go alone but definitely don’t force him to let you come with if he doesn’t want you too. And I’d talk to a couple close family members for advice.

3

Who cares it’s his life let him figure it out

2

give the dude time, if you love him for who he is it doesn’t matter which career he chooses. the alternative is keep pestering him making him feel bad, and then yall break up

2

So lowkey. Ik he’s your bf, but this doesn’t affect you. If his life crumbles, it doesn’t affect you. If he switches his mind all the time, not your problem. Sometimes people have to do some “risky/crazy” things to end up where they’re supposed to be. Sometimes it’s horse hockey and it fumbles hard. Not your problem at the bf stage. Sometimes worrying too much about someone and parenting them the way you were parented isn’t the answer. I left a long term doing that bc it drained me.

1

Definitely nta Do not marry someone or get engaged to someone who is inconsistent constantly in any type of way that matters to you. Let's say yall get married, he still hasn't chosen a path. He doesn't have a job because he can't stick to anything and you are providing for the both of yall. Was this the life you imagined after the honeymoon? And then if yall get the divorced you take some of his debt with you depending on the situation. Figure out what you need and he can't give, then...

1