Anonymous OP 12w

So I’m feeling like I’m the AH for wanting to take her on his senior year when no one else totally cares past his feelings and ‘missing her’ mind you, they have another cat AND jsut got a new kitten.

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Anonymous OP 12w

When my other ESA passed, I legit nearly went down a super dark hole again. I either need to train up a new ESA or take her, or I will crash out again. But am I being insensitive for needing her? Idk. Yall tell me or ask more questions if needed

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Anonymous #1 12w

And it is a bit unfair to take the family cat away from its home, that it’s always known, and the rest of your family. It’s equally his cat as it is yours, and you can’t know how much he may rely on it for soothing and comfort as well. Family pets shouldn’t ever come to college imo, and college kids really should have pets at all. I’d definitely recommend getting into therapy while you’re at school to help you cope with this transition, esp since most campuses have it available on site for free

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Anonymous #1 12w

Shouldn’t have pets at all*** god apple spell check sucks

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Anonymous #1 12w

I’m living in an apartment next semester, much larger than a dorm, and TBF I pay for her vaccines and medicines, I do most to all their food, water, and litter. She’s legally mine under her rabies tag so idk jsut cause she’s lived with them does that make her theirs?

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Anonymous OP 12w

Shoudl also mention: I’m moving to a much larger apartment + I do pay for her meds, vaccines (she’s legally registered under my name at clinics) and I do all their food water and litter at home

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Anonymous OP 12w

Legally she’s yours but in practice she belongs to the family if you’re describing her as a family cat. And you know that it’ll be unfair deep down since that’s what you described her as first

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Anonymous #1 12w

And yeah, I’ve tried the therapy but they jsut keep telling me to “spend more time at home with your cat if she’s a coping mechanism for you” (I don’t go to school far from home)

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Anonymous #1 12w

Yeah yeah, I know. But idk how to balance my own mental health vs their happiness. I don’t wanna hurt my family but liek, they don’t even care that after my last ESA passed I crashed into the worst spiral yet

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Anonymous OP 12w

If you live close enough to home to visit often that is the best case scenario. It will also help you from completely relying on the cat if you don’t have constant access to her, bc you do need to develop some level of self soothing and coping skills. And of course, less stressful on the cat itself. They’re territorial animals, losing their territory and moving to a completely new space, without the people they’re used to, are massive stressors

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Anonymous #1 12w

I’d agree but I shoudl also mention she gets depressed without me too. So it’s not like she’s exactly great without me. The new kitten tortures her and she’s very connected to me. But idk if that + my own selfishness is enough to take her

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Anonymous OP 12w

Are you sure you’re not just projecting your own feelings of reliance onto her as a way to ease your conscious about taking her? And kittens are always a handful at first. We got two at the same time and my older cat felt tortured bc he wanted to nap lazily in the sun and they wanted to constantly play. But within a few months the three were inseparable. May even be helpful your cat has the kitten to bond with while you’re at school

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Anonymous #1 12w

Plus I don’t wanna have to depend on home constantly like I did last semester. I practically lived at home and NEVER went out with people cause I needed to time to drive home. I wanna be able to make friends and have her close and home where I can destress

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Anonymous #1 12w

No like I left on a weeks trip and my best friend cat sat and she legit refused to eat, and will do this every time I leave for longer than a day for at least 2-4 days of pouting unless thoroughly prompted to eat

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Anonymous OP 12w

You won’t be able to hang out with friends with a pet on campus either. You’ll have to be home to take care of them, and it’s horrible to leave them home alone for long stretches. Plus it can leave out friends from being able to come over to your place to hang out with you since cat allergies are super common

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Anonymous #1 12w

Shoudl I jsut get my own cat then? The responsibility is nothing new I’ve been doing it since we got her by myself so that’s honestly a comfort routine for me. It’d save a lot of drama if I got my own, I jsut don’t wanna have to leave her when she’s so close with me and I with her at 10 years old already

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Anonymous OP 12w

It’s just really not a good idea to have a pet during college. It’s more limiting time wise and financially than it needs to be.

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Anonymous #1 12w

I guess so, but I know I do good with them. Like legit I’m fine around them. I just can’t go through another semester like last time

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Anonymous #2 12w

also i buy cheaper litter and invest in a massive bag of food for him at the beginning of each semester, so financially not a big deal at all, i didn’t have a job and just door dashed and budgeted for his needs as well as mine like gas and groceries with no problem at all.

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Anonymous #3 12w

Well that’s not entirely true. I have a feeder that feeds her on a schedule so. The timing and financial aspect isn’t my concern, it’s the family part that is

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Anonymous #2 12w

Totally agree, I’ve had an ESA my first two years of college and he’s been so helpful and also very easy to take care of, granted I have roommates but I do all the work and pay for it and I almost never leave for overnight (cause there’s almost never a reason to) so as long as you can come home several times a day I think having a cat at college is totally reasonable and doable, especially if you’ve already been taking care of it and if it’ll help you

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Anonymous gralute 12w

Given that there’s obviously a two way bond with you and the cat, and that your family has other cats at home (and they’ll be able to see this cat as well when you go home), it makes sense for you to take it. Also, yes you literally can go out when you have a pet lmao especially a cat can definitely survive without you for a few hours while you hang out with friends

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