Anonymous OP 20h

*Added context; she’s saying I’m spoiled because I didn’t wash my work shirt

6

Anonymous OP 18h

no you are not the asshole she is triangulating (bringing in someone unrelated to the problem to make it seem like it “isn’t (only) her” who has an issue). put your foot down and say “if ezra has a problem with it then HE can tell me. he is a grown man he does not need you to speak for him.” OR go and talk to him yourself and tell him your mom is weaponizing him against you (if you have a comfortable relationship with him)

21

Anonymous OP 18h

as for your mom, just start washing your work shirt with your regular laundry if possible, or do it yourself. stop relying on her to get it done because she won’t - she seems to be punishing you for… ???? i’m not going to call your mom narcissistic just based on the little bit you’ve posted but she’s weird af for this (1/2)

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Anonymous #1 18h

if she gets bitchy again i suggest “you have promised me time and time again you will wash the shirt and you repeatedly fail to do so. do not worry about it, i will handle this from now on” or something along those lines. i wish you luck dealing with this

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Anonymous #1 18h

Right, and that’s definitely what it feels like but I always want to give my mom the benefit of the doubt. If she brings Ezra into an argument again, I’ll tell her that I’d rather have Ezra tell me since him and I stopped having a good relationship a while ago (he came into my life right after I turned 3, our relationship absolutely crumbled when I was 17, and I’m almost 20 now). And if he wants to talk to me about it, I’d believe what my mom says about it more

5

Anonymous #1 18h

Like the thing is, is that she does wash my clothes regularly now since this whole thing happened, I’m just constantly getting the silent treatment now and I was worried I really messed up

1

Anonymous OP 13h

if she’s being controlling about it, then i would do your best to take control back of the situation. keep your clothes in your room until they need to be washed, then go by university rules: put em in the wash, set a timer, then hang out or get down there before it ends so you can move everything over, set timer for dryer, then bring em up to your room to be folded and put away. do not let her have any part in the cycle if you can help it, and hope that she gets the hint that she fucked up

4

Anonymous OP 13h

also please keep in mind i am saying this as someone who has not had to deal with a parent being controlling like this, i am also in my 20’s and mostly independent. don’t do anything that’s going to get you kicked out or put your health in danger. maybe do some research online on how to best deal with “narcissistic” parents (used loosely - the type of manipulation ur mom is using here is setting off alarm bells to me and direct logical confrontation could make things worse)

5

Anonymous OP 13h

i’d hesitate to continue giving your mom’s word so much weight in this situation, but i understand. if you are comfortable enough talking to ezra about it 1 on 1 without her interference or influence, then i would do that. tell him what she’s being saying about him to you, and ask if any of it is true, and why he felt like he couldn’t come to you about it because again: he is a grown man

4

Anonymous #1 13h

That’s what I’m thinking of doing, because I go to college and am only home for the summer, so I’m honestly just doing my best to keep my head down and not argue back as much

1

Anonymous #1 13h

My mom has definitely shown narcissistic behavior before, so I’ll look into it. And part of why I’m putting so much weight on her words is that I have been kicked out a few times and almost every thing I was kicked out for was minor. So it makes me nervous

1