AITA on Yik Yak | I just found out my bf of 2 years was cheating on me with a man but he says I can’t tell anyone what happened bc it would be outing him. I’m so heartbroken and betrayed and I want to talk to my friends and family but would it make me an asshole?

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AITA 14w

I just found out my bf of 2 years was cheating on me with a man but he says I can’t tell anyone what happened bc it would be outing him. I’m so heartbroken and betrayed and I want to talk to my friends and family but would it make me an asshole?

208

Anonymous 14w

Cheating and getting caught means he outed himself

202

Anonymous 14w

NTA. Sucks you would out him but you shouldn’t have to suffer with the heartbreak in silence. Or you could just leave it at he cheated on you and not say with who.

136

Anonymous 14w

You deserve love and support too. While he might not be ready, he should’ve thought of that before cheating.

110

Anonymous 14w

Nta

Anonymous 14w

Talk to your family, maybe not friends. If hes scared of being outed, he shouldve thought about that before cheating. Family is supposed to be the rre for you in times like this. Friends might make the situation worse. But overall NTA, do what makes you less stressed and happier

Anonymous 14w

You are completely justified in talking about it with someone. You don’t have to shout it from the rooftop if you still actually care about his privacy, but he has no right to demand you keep it to yourself completely. Like #5 said, if you want, you can just tell some people “he cheated” without going into the specifics. It’s up to you

Anonymous 14w

Was ur bf named Vito?!!??

Anonymous 14w

Just cause he’s in the closet doesn’t mean you can’t expose the fact that he was cheating 🤷‍♂️ You don’t have to out him to expose him.

Anonymous 14w

Gurl, blackmail. He wasted your 2 years. Ask him to pay for like rent and stuff. He’ll out himself eventually

Anonymous 14w

Hard situation, I feel for yall both but he was definitely wrong I’d definitely tell him that you need people to talk about his infidelity with, regardless of who it was he cheated with - cheating is cheating Just make sure that you’re not being vindictive NTA 💗 I’m sorry ur going thru this

Anonymous 14w

Air his shit out girl he shouldn’t have cheated thats on his gay ass

Anonymous 14w

Honestly I think he made his bed BUT if u really feel the need to not out him, u can just say he cheated on u and omit the man part. Idk tho I think he kinda deserves it cheating is cheatinh

Anonymous 14w

i'd tell anyone ur close with and need to reach out to as u go thru healing from this. it's not fair to ask u to keep this a secret from the ppl ur close with, he cheated, that's on him, it's not on u at all to keep his secrets. ofc u don't have to tell everyone who asks but i don't think it's reasonable to ask u to hide ur truth of what ur going thru to those close to u

Anonymous 14w

Who gives a shit if it’s outing him, he easily could have broken up with you, experimented and then have it kept a secret but he decided to cheat so when people ask why you broke up, by all means you have the right to explain it

Anonymous 14w

Girl he did that to you. He CHOSE to risk being outed and atp he’s done smth of the same level to you. I am gay but atp you have the right to tell ppl what he did to you, truly the only thing that matters anyway is the fact that HE cheated on you. He made his bed, let him lay on the rainbow sheets

Anonymous 14w

Out him bro…

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Anonymous 14w

Literally just say he cheated on you and break up with him! You don’t need to say who he cheated with or their gender!

Anonymous 14w

tell everyone

Anonymous 14w

Just say he cheated on you

Anonymous 14w

You don’t have to out him, simply just break up with him and say he cheated but don’t specify who he cheated with.

Anonymous 14w

Don’t share. Not your business. It’s another man not woman so why complain?

-24

Anonymous

#5 14w

Oooooo smart!!

Anonymous

#4 14w

Then when he gets confronted he outs himself.

Anonymous

#11 14w

Cheating on your partner is wrong 🗣️

Anonymous

#9 14w

Right fuck you. If you weren’t ready to be out you shouldn’t have been doing out activities

Anonymous

#15 14w

Purrr that part

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Anonymous

#23 14w

Exactly

Anonymous

#23 14w

Came here to say this

Anonymous

#23 14w

To me it’s more than just getting cheated on. He used me for years and made me feel like I was disgusting and something was wrong with me. He would tell me things I said or did were a turn off or I gained to much weight (when we first met I struggled with an ED and was underweight) and he didn’t have a problem getting it up for other girls so it was my fault. Years of trying to change to be better. Years of feeling disgusting and messing with my head about my health all bc he was using me.

Anonymous

OP 14w

It’s a different kind of betrayal. He used me. He never even liked me. Am I that disgusting? Am I that unwanted by others? He was my first everything. I gave him my everything and he didn’t even care about me.

Anonymous

#5 14w

Not necessarily- he could easily lie about who he cheated with, assuming they aren’t in a tiny town or at a small college. Quite honestly, if he wasn’t prepared and willing to lie about that stuff, he never should have cheated in the first place. As much as this situation sucks for him, that doesn’t mean OP shouldn’t get to vent and lean on her loved ones after he literally cheated.

Anonymous

OP 14w

Oh well in that case u can def tell ppl he cheated on you with a man dw girl you’re good 😭

Anonymous

#25 14w

Also, I’m not trying to say that he should specifically name another girl, especially not someone in their social circle, but more so try to direct the conversation to “you wouldn’t know her” or something along those lines

Anonymous

OP 14w

Gosh I am so sorry. Different sort of thing but I also got my first everything stolen from me. The betrayal is deep and the recovery was hard. I’m sorry my friend, I truly wish you well and nothing but the best. It is worth being grateful that this phase of your life is over, welcome to the rest of your life ❤️ you will find a love that is SO much greater

Anonymous

OP 14w

Honey I say this gently, you can air out every single grievance you have with him and you should he sounds like an awful person. And you can do all of that without outing him.

Anonymous

OP 14w

Do not base your self worth on what others do to you. It will be a brutal and endless cycle. You are not disgusting and you are not unwanted by others, how he treated you reflects him as a person not you. It reflects his vile character and how he treats people, it has nothing to do with you.

Anonymous

#12 14w

He keeps bringing up one of my closest friends from high school who told a small group of people but still got publicly outed and attempted to take her own life. saying the same thing will happen to him. I’m so confused and there are so many mixed emotions.

Anonymous

OP 14w

Girl he’s trying to manipulate you HARD he’s basically saying if you tell anyone I’m gonna kms to make you feel bad

Anonymous

OP 14w

Blackmaillll he wont call your bluff if u deadass

Anonymous

OP 14w

Call the police on him. If he’s serious about attempting he’ll get help, if he’s not he’ll have to admit that and deal with the consequences. Send them to his house

Anonymous

#17 14w

That might be a better idea tbh

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Anonymous

OP 14w

That’s extremely abusive. I am so so sorry he treated you like that. After the way he treated you, he has zero right to privacy. This was his own decision and you don’t need to suffer any more from his mistakes and choices!

Anonymous

OP 14w

u owe him less than nothing & never let anyone try and make u feel lik u do. tell whoever u need whatever u want to heal from this