AITA on Yik Yak | is it selfish of me to not want kids because i want to live the double income no kids life without living my life in good school districts and summer breaks

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AITA 15w

is it selfish of me to not want kids because i want to live the double income no kids life without living my life in good school districts and summer breaks

Anonymous 15w

No it’s not selfish😭ur talking about a hypothetical baby that doesn’t exist, don’t let people guilt you into something as serious as having a child

🐲

Anonymous 15w

No bc I’m the same way 😭 my exact ideology is I would rather have a car or two than a kid. I love the idea of being a dad but I think I’m way too selfish and I for sure don’t want to be a parent full time. Makes me very grateful that I’m gay so I don’t have to worry about accidentally making my partner pregnant 💀

Anonymous 15w

no lol i'm not having kids because i think id be a shit parent so i think any reason you can think of is a good reason. kids deserve parents who want them. every kid deserves that.

Anonymous 15w

No, it’s the billionaires’ fault since their gluttony has put people in a situation where they can live a decent life like their parents/grandparents, or struggle with debt and finances just to raise one kid (not even enough for population replacement, it’s even worse for 2-3 kids). Millions of people are struggling financially even if they don’t have kids, so no it’s not your fault or selfish for you to not want kids due to the state of the world greedy psychos have created.

Anonymous 15w

Not selfish but keep in mind that surveys have shown a ton of people who make this choice regret it once they’re older. So make sure you know what you want.

Anonymous 15w

The earth is overpopulated, you have no moral obligation to have kids, the only reason one should ever have kids is because 1. they want to 2. they can afford to and 3. because they believe they are fit parents to create a responsible and useful human being for society. If anyone makes you feel bad about not having children, they are absolutely projecting their own problems onto you, the earth scientifically does not need more people, so scientifically you shouldn’t have a kid, if that helps 🤝

Anonymous 15w

no lol. you want what you want and its not hurting anybody so there is no reason to be ashamed of it, you would be wayyyyy more of an a-hole if you had a kid when you really don’t want one

Anonymous

#2 15w

i get that but i’d rather regret not having kids than regret having them

Anonymous

#6 15w

But also keep in mind that regretting not having them is much more common than regretting having them

-9

Anonymous

#2 15w

or maybe people just socially do not admit that they regret having kids, also survey confirmation bias and sampling bias, you shouldn’t overwhelm OP with possibly skewed statistics that can lead them to believe misinformation

Anonymous

#11 15w

long story short, DINK out

Anonymous

#11 15w

that does make sense actually. it’s the hawthorne effect right? if i had kids and hated the parenting experience i don’t think id admit it

Anonymous

OP 15w

yeah exactly, it could be detrimental to your kids or your own mental, something you don’t want to admit even though it’s true, vs saying you regret not having kids just brings sympathy rather than the hate received by saying the first thing.

Anonymous

#11 15w

Just think long and hard about it before you’re too far along in life is all I’m saying.

Anonymous

#2 15w

A childless young adult life sounds great but also weigh the pros and cons of growing old without children.

Anonymous

#2 15w

what are the cons

Anonymous

OP 15w

Not having a loving family to support you as you age is a big one. My parents were more than happy to take care of my grandparents because they were raised right. Your kids are probably the only ones willing to really support you through that. Just in general childless adults report loneliness at much higher rates as they age. Health wise,

Anonymous

#2 15w

some studies have linked sharper cognitive decline to childlessness. Which seems surprising- given the extra time and money to focus on yourself in addition to the elimination of the huge source of stress that kids have the potential to be, you’d expect the opposite. But it wouldn’t be surprising if ignoring one of your most basic biological purposes and drives has psychological/health consequences.

Anonymous

#2 15w

There’s flaws with this though. There’s still plenty of extended family that can support you, as well as friends. The only thing that ONLY children can carry on is your genetic material. While families are lovely, some of it is purely biological. And now that humans have the means to live beyond that, I think there’s beauty in being able to choose otherwise

Anonymous

#7 15w

Friends will not be there to take care of you like immediate family would be through the aging process, and frankly it would be unfathomably unreasonable to expect them to be. And impractical too, given that many will be in the same boat. It demands a continuous almost daily effort that only a child would be willing to provide. I don’t think you’ve seen a close loved one suffer through a grueling aging process or dementia.

Anonymous

#2 15w

When it comes to taking care of old people, the options are essentially 1. Their kids 2. Nursing homes that will treat you like dogshit.

Anonymous

#2 15w

that being said if i fucked up my child like i am most likely inclined to do given how i was raised, wouldn’t the loneliness be worse? not only did i have kids but they chose to leave. it’s not worth that risk in my mind

Anonymous

OP 15w

That’s up to you. Reading back it looks like I’m trying to straight up convince you to have kids, but that’s not the goal. Just bringing up the pros that a lot of people don’t think about, and why I think a lot of people make a choice they end up regretting. Consider your situation, your ability to be a parent (and your ability to change your capacity for parenting?), and what your future looks like with both options.

Anonymous

#2 15w

Shooting out an opposing point, I am more likely to become rich without the -$80,000 a year cost of having kids, my brother will have kids, I will be the rich auntie who they love the most because I can afford to take them on trips and show them the world, I will be able to afford in home care rather than go to a nursing home, and my loving extended family (and possible future husbands family) will love and care for me in old age, or once i’m too old to care for myself i’ll kms in a cool way 😎

Anonymous

#11 15w

yes exactly my point!!

Anonymous

#2 15w

its def higher. they just dont wanna admit it.

Anonymous

#2 15w

well my income without kids will get me a REALLY nice nursing home

Anonymous

#11 15w

Being a very involved aunt/uncle could definitely be an option, though it’s certainly not an option for everyone

Anonymous

#13 15w

What’s higher? Not sure which point you’re replying to sorry

Anonymous

#2 15w