If you haven’t seen a physician or counselor, please do. I suffer from the same anxiety and “picking” coping mechanism. Once I started taking a low dose anxiety med and working with a counselor, it was much more manageable. You are not hideous nor disgusting. I know it can feel that way, but our feelings also lie to us. You are a beautiful human trapped behind anxiety, and there are people who are just waiting to help you shine. They’ve trained for it, and will respect you.