Anonymous #1 12h

so no relationship to even want back is what you’re saying?

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Anonymous OP 12h

Exactly

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Anonymous #1 12h

lol honestly i would take that over what im feeling rn

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Anonymous OP 12h

Why did you go no contact to begin with

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Anonymous #1 12h

i’ve been in yy all day trying to understand this guy but long story short he crossed my boundaries one too many times. he agreed to not follow girls or like their posts and he did both so i ended it

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Anonymous OP 12h

And you want to break no contact with him? Why?

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Anonymous #1 12h

i have recently been trying to get my stuff back. and it’s not even that i want to go back to being with him but i just want to know that he feels my absence and maybe cares enough and he realizes he was dumb to ever do anything to risk our connection. but i think it was mostly one sided atp bc i would never hurt him over the ability to follow guys on instagram. im truly just like irrational

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Anonymous OP 12h

He does not care. You're in love with the idea of him, not the real him, and probably miss that level of connection that you had. Being suddenly removed from that intimacy when you used to have it can be real whiplash, and it certainly gave you a shit ton of dopamine and stuff, so it makes sense you'd want to get that back, even if it's rationally not good for you. But, trust me, if you go back it'll just get worse. Short term highs for long term pain, you don't want that.

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Anonymous #1 12h

yeah i don’t think i would ever go back but knowing that im not the only one in pain would make me feel better

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Anonymous OP 12h

Why? Why does he have to be in pain for you to find enjoyment? That's not healthy

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Anonymous #1 12h

it’s not about finding enjoyment in his pain. i would just feel less pathetic. i know he wants to see me again because he asked to but i think he just wants to prove he still has access to me. so that’s different from what i feel

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Anonymous OP 12h

You can't worry about him. You need to fully detach yourself from him to move on. You're not the pathetic one, he is for crossing your boundaries, and the fact that you feel pathetic means that you're letting him still hold that over you

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Anonymous #1 12h

i’ve tried to fake it but it’s just covering up the truth. i think im gonna worry about him for a while

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Anonymous OP 12h

Then you won't be able to move on and find someone who does respect you

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Anonymous #1 12h

yeah ik i think it’s just too soon atp

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Anonymous OP 5h

I’m gonna be honest, this relationship sounds toxic on both sides. Trying to control who he can follow or what posts he can like reeks of insecurity and possessiveness on your part, and him doing it anyway behind your back instead of talking to you about it reeks of deceit and cowardice on his part. You not wanting to get back together but still wanting to know he feels dumb and wishes he had you back sounds like an immature desire to ‘win’ the breakup and feel superior over him.

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Anonymous OP 5h

Here’s the question you need to ask yourself. Are you doing no-contact with him because it’s good for your emotional well-being and it’s helping you to move on with your life? Or are you doing no-contact as a way to try to emotionally punish your ex from beyond the relationship because you’re not really over him?

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Anonymous #3 4h

i mean definitely the first option. he seems to not gaf that’s why i’m asking

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Anonymous #3 4h

well he set the same standard for me as well. the difference is he doesn’t follow his own standard. and i really just disagree that it’s about insecurity, just respect. so yeah the possessiveness part i don’t necessarily disagree. and im not trying to win the breakup i just don’t want to be the only person who cares after all that time together and i think that’s a natural feeling. also, i asked for people’s experience not a psychoanalysis

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Anonymous #2 4h

thanks for the feedback

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