Anonymous #8 11w

i don't think she's the one to blame here

13

Anonymous #4 11w

For consenual sex you need two things consent from party a and consent from party b. According to her post she gave consent so she is at fault for her actions as cynical as that may sound

-5

Anonymous #8 11w

Weird, what I got from the post is that she trusted him and told him that she wasn't on birth control, and had talked about their future together. The sex was consensual yes, but the fact that he knew she wasn't on birth control, and still decided to cum in her and then leave is not on her. We also don't know how long they knew each other/this relationship was. She said he ended things two days later but anyone should be able to deduct that they knew each other for longer than 2 days.

11

Anonymous #8 11w

Consenting to sex is consenting to the act of sexual intercourse. What you are saying is like because she consented to sex, she also consented to him leaving. She trusted someone enough to have sex with her bc he gave her reason too. How was she supposed to know he was going to leave? Especially if he hadn't given her a reason to not trust him before now. So yeah, she's not one to blame especially if she had communicated her feelings for him, not being on birth control and their future.

3

Anonymous #8 11w

everyone who are sexually active regardless if they're into hook up culture or not *should* ask/tell about birth control situations before they have sex, and usually if a girl tells a guy that isn't on birth control if they don't want a baby they will typically use a condom or in some cases just not have sex with her. he knew she wasn't on B.C and came in her anyway which imo means he knew what was he doing .

1

Anonymous #4 11w

The purpose of sex biologically is to create more offspring. It was her choice to be off birthcontrol and her choice to let him cum inside. There is always a non zero chance you can get pregnant no matter what birth control method you use. Some are more viable then others but all can fail in different ways. Hookup culture is a dumb excuse to excuse dumb behavior

-3

Anonymous #8 11w

Now i am by no measure excusing what the guy did what he did was fucking horrible and mean. But there is a point when not having sex is probably better then having sex

-3

Anonymous #8 11w

sure but there isn't anything wrong with having sex for pleasure. by saying so that invalidates queer couples, and married straight couples everywhere who have sex for pleasue. consenting to sex is not consenting to pregnancy. yes there is never a zero chance, but there are enough forms of birth control that work pretty well all things considered. plus idk where u got the impression she "let" him cum inside. from her tone she seems pretty unhappy about that.

1

Anonymous #4 11w

also you mentioned hook up culture but again we don't know from the context what f the post if this was a hookup. i gathered that it was more than that, especially bc she said he ended things, so they could've meant that they were dating. plus it's not cool to shame people for what they could've done, especially if they didn't do anything morally wrong. she was a responsible adult who communicated about not being on birth control and eagerly consented to intercourse.

1

Anonymous #8 11w

also you don't know if it was her choice to be off birth control. it's expensive and not easy to get. you don't just turn 18 and are immediately offered birth control. you have to go to a doctor usually a gynecologist and see which methods your eligible for and then some of them require a surgery, and again all of them are very costly. we don't know her health care situation so who are we to assume that she chose to not be on birth control?

1

Anonymous #4 11w

You always always always run the risk of sex leading to a pregnancy. Birth control is extremly cheap until surgeries are needed. Its not likes its a prescibed med either. you can go to a wallgreens and just buy it outright. Even then its not guarenteed to prevent pregnancy.

1

Anonymous #8 11w

Um the only non prescribed birth control is Plan B. Which is only affective if you weigh less than 150 pounds and taken the morning after you had sex. Also neither prescribed methods or Plan B are "extremely cheap" it can cost between 40-50 dollars. Plus she said the guy didn't agree with abortion so he probably also wouldn't agree to help her pay for Plan B, since a lot of people view the two as one in the same. I honestly can tell you don't understand how women's reproductive health works 1/2

1

Anonymous #4 11w

Let alone how the responsible way to approach hook up culture, and just decide what to shame both individuals because you personally don't agree with hook up culture isn't okay, especially when only one of them did something morally wrong.

1

Anonymous #4 11w

Hook up culture is dumb people i dont think understand the weight sex has on your body, physically, emotionally, or even mentally. She made a poor descision regardless if it was a hookup or not that is her fault for not keeping control of who she lets in. So honestly dont care what birth control shes on the tough reality is she fucked around and she found out. Wouldnt want anyone else to defend me if i had done that. Sometimes you gotta learn from mistakes

0

Anonymous #8 10w

Again hook up culture may be dumb to YOU. That doesn't give you the right to preach about how everyone who participates in it making a mistake. Especially because there are ways to be into hook up culture and still value your body, physically/emotionally/mentally. Whether you like it or not, people enjoy having sex, and if they are doing it responsibly and consensually then that's all that matters. So she didn't have a mistake to learn from here.

1

Anonymous #4 10w

The only person who is at fault here is the man who lied to her in order to use her. We don't have the full context of their relationship but she trusted him enough to have sex with him and that in itself is not a mistake she needs to learn from. Your advice is what leads to trust issues, and her trusting him is NOT the problem.

1