Ask Men on Yik Yak | How do I get a girlfriend? It’s been so hard the last 2 years, been getting ghosted/rejected. I’m on the verge of giving up. I haven’t been anyone’s first choice in years ngl. So that’s something. 20 yr old male if that helps.

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Ask Men 8w

How do I get a girlfriend? It’s been so hard the last 2 years, been getting ghosted/rejected. I’m on the verge of giving up. I haven’t been anyone’s first choice in years ngl. So that’s something. 20 yr old male if that helps.

Anonymous 8w

Focus on other things that make you happy instead of actively looking for a relationship

Anonymous 8w

It’s probably where you’re looking and looking to hard

Anonymous 8w

Try lying about your music taste, I'm joking but it actually does work

Anonymous 8w

You’re probably just cooked. I’m in the same situation as you (average 20yr old guy) and I’ve given up at this point.

Anonymous 8w

I don’t think I’m ugly, more average looking, I consider myself a good person, at least that’s what my friends say. I don’t sleep around, don’t have a roster, I just work, go to school and keep to myself. I’m on dating apps but it’s really just people looking for hookups and that makes me uncomfortable. It’s like every woman who rejects me ends up getting with a piece of shit after me so do I have to become a piece of shit to get a girlfriend? Idk I’m just actually pissed off about all this now.

Anonymous

OP 8w

Idk I may just sound like a self loathing pos, but this has actually made me start going to therapy.

Anonymous

OP 8w

Yeah bro, been there. The trick is that if u obsess about getting a gf and allat it’s so much harder to get one. It makes u kinda fake, girls can tell and they rnt into that. If u slow down and do things with your life (like getting interesting hobbies) it’ll be a lot easier. U might talk to less girls than if u kept up desperately trying to get a gf, but you’ll have better quality connections, and that’s what it’s really all about

Anonymous

#3 8w

It’s a mindset shift, yk. And no u don’t have to become a pos to attract girls, girls don’t actually like that. They like those guys in spite of them being assholes not because of it. Chances are that you are just approaching it all wrong with them. Instead of trying to get them to like u, u gotta become someone they like, yk focus on urself type shit

Anonymous

OP 8w

dating apps generally will not match you with the right people, and you're more likely to get ghosted and ignored there. girls usually get a lot of matches, so truthfully you're likely competing with a bunch of other guys to just get her attention on the app. if you want a relationship, drop the apps completely and find a hobby or activity that you can do regularly that involves some social involvement, or make friends and connect with more people through them

Anonymous

vangogh 8w

Exactly, if dating apps were actually good at setting up their users for good long term relationships they’d run out of users hella fast, they want to help u just enough for u to use them but only that much

Anonymous

#3 8w

Yeah I’ve been trying to do that but a gf would be nice yk? I don’t really get out as much but I’m thinking of going back to school just to be able to meet people. Maybe that would help?

Anonymous

vangogh 8w

I’ve noticed that as well. I don’t know what hobby or activity that would involve being social but maybe going back to school would help.

Anonymous

#4 8w

The funny part is I’m actually not out here looking in odd places, or looking too hard.

Anonymous

#1 8w

I’m trying to, but a gf would be nice. To love and to be loved yk

Anonymous

OP 8w

yeah that may help, but you also need to make sure you're actively forming connections at school instead of waiting for them to happen. even if it's platonic, those people can indirectly help you meet and befriend more people

Anonymous

vangogh 8w

I will try and do that !

Anonymous

OP 8w

The closer you look the less you see and we be in odd places