Anonymous #1 6w

I mean there’s different catagories of pick mes, some main catagories I can think of are the ones who switch up there personality around men, the ones who embarrass there friends, and the ones who act dumber than they are for some odd reason. it’s just the behavior switch ups that I feel makes a girl pick me.

2

Anonymous #2 6w

I why does it feel like so many guys go for it tho and still like it tho😑 so many girls dumb there selves down or say stupid stuff they never would normally say just for that “goofy and spontaneous” typa vibe they think they are creating and men be eating it up

1

Anonymous OP 6w

Situation 1: how would I know they’re doing that?, 2: yeah, that’s universally recognizable shitty behavior, yucky, 3: how would I know they’re doing that?

2

Anonymous #5 6w

1.) i mean they blatantly do it in your guys faces💀 so many girls would tell a embarrassing story about their friend or just embarrass them on the spot for a laugh or to look better 3.) u can tell there doing it by using critical skills… acting quirky and like they don’t know how to do things throughout the night is a 95% tell that they are amping it up for appeal

2

Anonymous #6 6w

A pick me isn’t the tiktok definition of pick me. it’s when a girl is obviously trying to put down a friend (which they do all the time in front of men) and u guys act like u don’t notice. so that’s why im asking if you guys don’t notice or just don’t care😃 me personally I wouldn’t want to date someone that puts down others and change their personalities completely to look better by comparison, but ya know i just have sum called… morals

1

Anonymous #6 6w

Dawns on me this is the internet and it may not hurt to clarify. The above is sarcasm. By all means, be as pickme as you like. We welcome it Tbh we prob WILL pick you because most people ARE more likeable and desirable when they make even a small effort to be. And admitting to yourself u care (even marginally) will help you make the most out of any thought you put into ur approach Playing it cool is ok, ofc. But dont shame each other for giving a crap; thats like the equivalent of “incel logic”

5

Anonymous OP 6w

Huh. I don’t know that Ive ever seen that. Or seen the word used that way. Maybe Im just not a dude women shamelessly fight over right in front of me, so I may not be your target audience. But to be honest, if I did see a girl trying to put down her friend to impress me (as opposed to friendly joshing, which I see all the time), “pick me” is not the phrase that’d come to mind (nor would I likely pick her). I’d just think she’s a bitch and that’s not attractive at all

4

Anonymous #6 6w

Caring isn’t the problem — tearing other people down to get picked is. A ‘pick-me’ isn’t just someone who tries, it’s someone who gets validation by selling out their own group. That’s not effort, that’s auditioning for approval you’ll never keep. Calling it out isn’t “incel logic” no one is blaming pick mes for being a first choice, the issue is trying to be the first choice by throwing everyone else under the bus in a disrespectful way.

1

Anonymous #6 6w

it’s called “pick me” mainly for the fact that they try and do it in a more condescending “joking” way which is why I feel most men don’t notice it

1

Anonymous OP 6w

I mean I guess these comments do answer your question, because either we’re not seeing it, or you’re seeing it where it isn’t. I can’t really rule out the inherent biases of my own perspective as a dude any more than you can. But for what it’s worth, if we aren’t even noticing these super-subtle put-downs as put-downs, they probably don’t impact our judgment of you much🤷🏻‍♂️ I HAVE seen women claim they were insulted by other women where it went completely over my head right in front of me, a

2

Anonymous #6 6w

s if literally done by telepathy undetectable by men. That may be a related phenomenon. If that’s what you’re on about, then I wouldn’t worry too much about it (at least as far as men are concerned, bc we aren’t; we didn’t know)

3

Anonymous #6 6w

thank you, really appreciate this input bc i know sometimes for me and lots of other girls i’ve talked to, it ruins our mood and embarrasses us to a point where we stop showing the same interest as we were, ma in my bc it drops the confidence💔 so I guess moral of the story is the guys don’t say anything bc they don’t notice and not bc they agree with whatever the other one is saying🙏

3

Anonymous OP 6w

*mainly

1