Ask Men on Yik Yak | Do you agree that the “bar is in hell” when it comes for dating men? As in men just do the bare minimum and thats enough for them to get praise/rewarded?? Because some guys say its really hard to ever be seen or appreciated

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Ask Men 16w

Do you agree that the “bar is in hell” when it comes for dating men? As in men just do the bare minimum and thats enough for them to get praise/rewarded?? Because some guys say its really hard to ever be seen or appreciated

Anonymous 16w

I think the challenge for men is getting on a woman’s radar and becoming a candidate for them to date. When women say that men only need to do the bare minimum, they’re referred to the men they’re already into/talking to/ dating

Anonymous 16w

I think on average women and men have similar amounts of efforts they put in, but you hear more complaints about men than women because men are discouraged from sharing emotional worries

Anonymous 16w

It hurts me a lot as a man when I hear women say “the bar is so low,” especially when I consider how hard I’ve tried to change as a person. It all feels pointless to improve myself because no matter how much I improve, it’s never enough.

Anonymous 16w

I heard a girl say “well yeah he is a bit controlling but at least he isn’t a felon” so I would agree. I think care and kindness should be something expected in a relationship

Anonymous 16w

Sorta, but not in the sense u mean. The bar isn’t in hell in the sense of being LOW; it’s more like it’s literally in hell because yall killed it n now it’s nowhere. Theres no “bare minimum” bc theres (at best) 0 correlation between the effort a guy puts in and womens preferences and what u respond to. And thats OK, but it’s misleading (& maybe a touch deceptive) to complain the bar is “low” when the truth is it just doesnt exist. It’s like u want guys to believe working harder at dating (“rais

Anonymous 16w

I think everyone is a little bit pickier than they want to let on - it’s not socially acceptable to go around saying “I want a perfect partner that’s 10/10 hot and has an amazing personality and …”. This discourse reminds me of that meme where it’s like “girlfriend wanted - requirements: alive, female (optional)” and some guys online agreed unironically

Anonymous 16w

Some boxes are more important than others. This is true for men and women but if you are physically attractive (as an example) you will not have to be as capable of carrying a conversation or maybe you might have some red flags that the other person will overlook.

Anonymous 16w

I guess so, I’ve seen some men be praised for some pretty basic shit. I don’t really put myself out there much so I haven’t experienced personally.

Anonymous 16w

As a women i wouldn't say the bar is in hell but i would say people date people who they aren't in love with or sometimes even actually like. So whenever a person, usually a man, does something "above and beyond" for a women then the woman who has only ever experienced men just putting up with her she sees that as exceeding her expectations. When in reality she was just dating men who didn't really love or like her, so they put very little effort in.

Anonymous 16w

As a daddy’s girl/only child I haven’t been Impressed by any men yet and the way this generation going I don’t think that’ll happen anytime soon

Anonymous 16w

Have you considered that having a bar is sexist and reinforces harmful gender stereotypes and expectations? /s

Anonymous 16w

The bar has literally never been higher

Anonymous

#5 16w

Even though thats absolutely not their requirements

Anonymous

#7 16w

ing the bar”, so to speak) will get them laid or make it more likely their feelings/efforts will be reciprocated, but you can’t really do that while women also (quite rightly) widely disclaim any pretense that that’s in any way true.

Anonymous

#10 16w

A small example would a man simply posting his partner on social media without them asking. The women who brag about their partner doing that is probably bc in the past they've been with men who only did it because she asked or never did and would make excuses. Obviously there r exceptions but in general its like stuff like that why doing something that really isn't a big deal when you truly love someone is why women say the "bar is in hell"

Anonymous

#10 16w

I also want to explain, i don't think men are intentionally getting into relationships with women they don't like/love. I think a lot of men nowadays are desperate for any sort of relationship. If they are physically attracted enough to just agree to date, they will bc it's better than being alone. Also lots of men aren't taught how to regulate their emotions, and if you combine that with lack of experience with receiving affection it just ends up being a recipe for a doomed relationship.

Anonymous

#11 16w

What would impress you?

Anonymous

#12 16w

Like when I hear my female friends say that, I just feel like trash. The people who say that the bar is in hell (men and women) both usually have nothing to offer as people and just enjoy putting others down

Anonymous

#12 16w

They’re probably not talking about you, only the guys they keep lowering the bar for.

Anonymous

#9 16w

I guess, but they usually specify that ALL men are trash, so it still just hurts. I know if I told them “all women are trash” they’d tell me I’m a misogynist but for some reason it’s just normal for them to hate all men

Anonymous

#9 16w

You cannot be “/serious” by having issues with creating standards for who you want to spend the rest of your life with

Anonymous

#9 16w

Tbh idk cause I grew up spoil asf so everything I think that can impress a girl I kinda already experienced it(random act flowers cause my dad always do flowers delivery every 3 weeks for me,random trips cause I feel sad,my dad coming home early from business trips cause I wasn’t feeling good or remembering random things)

Anonymous

OP 16w

/s means sarcasm

Anonymous

#13 16w

Sorry senpai, im not reddit-chan enough for you

Anonymous

OP 16w

Anonymous

pirosnake 16w

You look like the kind of person who would have this saved in their camera roll

Anonymous

#5 16w

It literally is

Anonymous

#8 16w

Okay but 99% of men aren’t felons, so thats not really a statement about men and more of a statement about the pool of men she’s interested in.

Anonymous

#9 16w

They’re not talking about him, but they also refuse to date him, so it’s not really better, because then he’s left wondering what the hell he’s doing wrong. Because if the guys they will date are so shitty, and they won’t even consider him, then logic says he must be even worse

Anonymous

#11 16w

So basically you’re never gonna be impressed by men because guys your age cannot financially match what your middle-aged father can afford to do for you?

Anonymous

#15 16w

Basically a man will never be able to impress me cause all the things that he could’ve used to impress me I already have them end experienced them

Anonymous

#11 16w

Okay but the things you listed are a flower delivery service, taking you places, and leaving work early to spend time with you. Which are all just functions of being in a strong enough place career-wise to have money and time to spend on you.

Anonymous

#15 16w

Which is y I said Idt think I’ll b impressed by any man anytime soon For example like a man I’m dating being there for me or support that wouldn’t impress me at all cause duh u supposed to do that