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Ask Men 4w
men please answer and give me tips. my fiance is like DEAD SET i’ll change my mind about having kids in the future. i DONT want them, never have, don’t know if i ever will. but he thinks ill change my mind. i’m scared he’ll resent me and divorce me if i
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Anonymous 4w

you’re pretty incompatible then. unless you can compromise and adopt kids, that sounds pretty tough to have a future where you’re both happy. i know you think it’s hard to end things bc you have so much history but it’s worth to waste your future

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Anonymous 4w

I think it’s comes down to sitting him down and asking him how he would feel if you DONT “come around” to wanting kids. It may be hypothetical for him, but you should know whether or not he would actually be ok with it or if he’s just saying that because he’s so confident you’ll change your mind later

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Anonymous 4w

don’t have children. and he says he won’t, but like how do you not resent someone for something you think is the only purpose of life?

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Anonymous 4w

it sounds like yall are incompatible. kids are something that partners should be on the same page about not one partner settling or waiting for the other to change their minds on it. down the line one of you will be unhappy with the kid situation

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Anonymous 4w

okay guys for the love of god didn’t ask you if you thought we were compatible, we have had many conversations about this along with EVERYTHING in our lives, he says he’s fine with it but i am diagnosed ANXIOUS. he says he loves me and wants to be with me, but im thinking DOWN THE ROAD. okay. thank you. also, no BS “then why ask”, bruh, not asking for your take on our relationship asking what you as men FEEL when it comes to having kids or not.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

i’d also like to say we have been together over 6 years and just recently got engaged and this has NOT been a new discussion, he’s known this about me.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

I mean, it’s getting more reasonable to at least hold off on kids bc everything’s so expensive. But I also think eventually you probably will come around to it. It’s quite the pickle I’ll tell you hwhat

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

so what i’m hearing is, i’m screwed :(

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 4w

i have tried having this conversation so many times😭😭he says he’ll be fine with it if i don’t change my mind, but then goes “i know you’ll change your mind”😭😭

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 4w

not incompatible, we’ve had multiple conversations about it, and he says he’d be fine if i didn’t change my mind, but i just don’t think that’s true. i’m fine without having kids and so im not going to be the one to end it because i don’t have any problems, does that make sense?

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

girllllll. break up with him.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

Let him know that him saying that makes you feel like he wouldn’t actually be ok with you not changing your mind and that it makes you nervous for your guys’ future together

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 4w

yes i have said that too! and he tells me im thinking far too much into it

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 4w

uh, no?

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Anonymous replying to -> amethystpopcorn 4w

not incompatible, his parents never wanted kids, and then had him by a choice late in their life, they are still happily married. i’m just afraid he will resent me, we’ve had this conversation many times in the past six years, but as we get older it gets more real as people around us are having kids.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

Yeah that’s cooked 🗿I don’t know where to go from there if you want to stick with him tbh, it’s definitely stuck between a rock and a hard place. It sounds a little bit like he’s invalidating your feelings, but if you trust him then you’re just going to have to have faith otherwise a breakup or other more serious measures might have to be taken

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 4w

i know, and i do trust him, but down the road if i don’t decide to want to have kids, and he does end up wanting them and there is no way he won’t have them, then what our whole relationship was a waste of time for the both of us? even though he says he would be fine without them, would he always feel that way? yk? thank you for being so kind and genuinely helpful🫶🏻

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

he most likely will resent you if you dont change your stance, hence the incompatibility. yes, you can make it work but with something as major as kids, not being on the same page will almost always lead to one person not happy with their life

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Anonymous replying to -> amethystpopcorn 4w

but what is everybody’s infatuation with having kids? I just don’t understand what the appeal is

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

I hope he respects your decision about not having children and will still marry you despite the differing beliefs

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Anonymous replying to -> #5 4w

thank you🥺

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

🫶

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