Ask Men on Yik Yak | What’s going on with the dating scene? Rn it seems like a lot of guys are lazy and want us (girls) to all of a sudden do all the work.

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Ask Men 1w

What’s going on with the dating scene? Rn it seems like a lot of guys are lazy and want us (girls) to all of a sudden do all the work.

Anonymous 1w

We don’t know how to read y’all, we also don’t know what tf y’all want. Now approaching is stigmatized. The “the worst she can say is no” joke exists for a reason, now most men either have dealt with a brutal rejection or have heard horror stories. Also we thought the whole point is y’all were supposed to be strong and empowered?? Wasnt this what women wanted?!?!

Anonymous 1w

Lots of factors at play but it boils down to everyone is scared of making the other person uncomfortable and being rejected so they don’t try. Why this also applies to men specifically today is a bunch of changes in gender roles that took place over the last hundred years or so. So yeah, sometimes, you’re gonna have to make the first move with a guy. But any relationship wherein one does everything is doomed to fail. If you’re talking to a POI and they do NOTHING…that’s just a red flag, fam.

Anonymous 1w

It was killed

Anonymous 1w

I personally think a lot of the problem has to do with the meteoric rise of social media and how people interact online. A lot of guys see posts saying women don’t want to be approached and to be left alone. Many people can’t separate online from real life and proceed to suffer the consequences. I also think a lot of guys who are chronically online have the idea that you need to be essentially perfect in every way to get a girl to be interested in you, which obviously isn’t true

Anonymous 1w

Truth is it’s a little more nuanced than that. Men have largely resigned from the dating scene, especially the ones that don’t fit the beauty standard. Main reason being that women led a 3 decade long smear campaign against men as a collective. The point we’re at now is that men don’t really feel the necessity of a woman in their life. Why even bother when your attempt can end up on the internet, immortalized forever as a creep? Better yet, you live a great life with your woman and build a

Anonymous

#1 1w

Strong and empowered yes but we also want to date? No that’s not what we wanted. We don’t want to be approached where we feel unsafe, but if it’s respectful it’s fine

Anonymous

#1 1w

If you don’t know to read us and don’t know what we want, why don’t you just ask?

-3

Anonymous

OP 1w

I mean it’s been the opposite for all of history where the men were the ones doing all the work. Being strong and empowered means finding solutions and also doing “all the work” the thing is you might say “if it’s respectful it’s fine” but that’s not most guys experience. A lot of men see attractive men be disrespectful and it work, then we also see unattractive men who are respectful and it still backfires

Anonymous

OP 1w

Bc it’s too complicated for us at this point

Anonymous

#1 1w

Yeah for a reason? A lot of women do work outside of what men do and it’s the “expectation”. There’s diff ways to be strong. I’m not a man, it won’t look the same for me. Most women at least once have experienced a guy threatening to hurt her bc she politely rejected him, so that point doesn’t really stand

Anonymous

OP 1w

And no, attractive men being disrespectful does not really happen. It turns us off, where have you seen that?

-2

Anonymous

OP 1w

Are there really “different ways to be strong” there are 2 ways to be strong, mentally and physically. And I should’ve clarified this but my point in men’s experience doesn’t take away from women’s experiences. Both sides have valid complaints abt the other so I’m just trying to say what men are thinking. But just sayin, if women did “all the work” they wouldn’t have to deal with that

Anonymous

OP 1w

This is sticking your head in the sand. It’s all over the media (which reflects reality) I mean it’s literally the most popular high school stereotype (the jock) being the attractive, athletic asshole who is popular with the girls.

Anonymous

#1 1w

Yes, there are. Women are physically strong as well. There’s complaints but how can you fix it? And deal with what exactly

Anonymous

OP 1w

I didn’t say they aren’t, what other kinds are there?? Idfk that’s ur job now, which yall volunteered for 🤣🤣

Anonymous

#1 1w

That doesn’t make sense to what ur talking about. We’re not in hs anymore

Anonymous

#1 1w

Volunteered for what?

-1

Anonymous

OP 1w

At this point you gotta be rage baiting me. Let me put it this way. Pick one: be the damsel in distress and a strong man does all the work or you be the strong one and u do all the work. That’s how reality works

Anonymous

#1 1w

I’m genuinely asking bc I don’t get it. Like ur viewpoint doesn’t make sense. And no, that’s not how it works?

Anonymous

inphochewated 1w

If you mean guys consistently doing nothing beyond making the first move… you might just be around shitty guys, my guy 😭

Anonymous

#1 1w

I'm tired of this mentality. Women aren't mythical creatures, and being strong and empowered doesn't mean women don't want to be courted. Chivalry is dead bc men like you are insecure wimps that assume all women are the same and only go for attractive or rich men, when that's not true at all

Anonymous

#5 1w

fortune until she gets bored and decides to cheat on you, then your entire fortune goes to her? There’s simply nothing to gain anymore.

Anonymous

#3 1w

No chivalry is dead because you are equals now. This is what you wanted. Why don't you court some men hmm? Or is it "the man's job" to do that?

Anonymous

#6 1w

You don't know me? This isn't what I wanted, just bc im a women doesn't mean im comfortable putting myself in a unsafe situation by approaching a man. Already existing as a women is unsafe, let alone if i were to engage with men they would take advantage of that opportunity. It's not my fault you lack the game to get a girlfriend

-1

Anonymous

#3 1w

Are you really so afraid that you can’t even make the effort to approach

Anonymous

#4 1w

considering that every man could overpower me?? yes it's quite literally a threat to my safety

Anonymous

#3 1w

Literally! It’s nice to. And yes it’s not a monolith

Anonymous

#6 1w

We’re not equals. We will never be bc we’re different

Anonymous

#7 1w

Yeah I think so too. They stay online but it’s not the actual reality

Anonymous

inphochewated 1w

I agree. I think it’s like overthinking too much about it going wrong. Even if it does, move on? Like rejecting will happen, but it’s not the end of the world. If it is, there’s other issues.

Anonymous

#4 1w

By what? I think online dating ruined a lot of things, but we can move past that

Anonymous

#3 1w

You say “it’s not my fault that you lack the game to get a girlfriend” but this post isn’t about men having game. This isn’t an Incell post abt not getting a gf but a woman wondering why women have to do all the work now. A lot of us don’t wanna deal with the hassle tbh

Anonymous

OP 1w

Social climate, big divide between men and women fueled by bad actors on both sides. Women are afraid of men (which is somewhat reasonable) and so men that are genuine are afraid to approach not just cause they’ll get reject but cause they don’t wanna make women uncomfortable

Anonymous

inphochewated 1w

This is a great take. Bc of social media now everyone has heard thousands of horror stories abt the other sex and it’s not even really the past 100 years but more like the past 50

Anonymous

#3 1w

You know you can just approach guys in public in daylight right? I don’t think any guy is gonna attack a woman just cause she approached him

Anonymous

#4 1w

You’d be surprised

Anonymous

OP 1w

Well then in that case why doesn’t everyone stay home all the time, can’t risk a man approaching you in the first place

Anonymous

#4 1w

I don’t think it’s dead per se I think people are delusional. Like I’m a girl but I’m still trying o dat win just cautious. I think a part of it is mindset, like people are just afraid to talk to each other?

Anonymous

#4 1w

That’s not what I meant

Anonymous

#3 1w

How is it more unsafe to approach a man than to be approached by a man? Is it not safer for women to do the approaching?