Anonymous #4 11h

I also think, unfortunately, that men have less desire to be friends with women than women do with men. It’s not because they dislike women, the way men act with their friends is much, much different than women do with theirs, and so a lot of the “edgy” or “gay” things that men do with each other, they would be in jail if they did that with a female friend. For this reason, I don’t think men view female friends the same as male friends.

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Anonymous #4 11h

With all that said though, I don’t think most necessarily believe men can’t be friends with women, I just think they believe they can’t be friends with a woman the same way they would with a man. I’m more than happy being friends with a woman in not attracted to.

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Anonymous #4 9h

“Way less complex” I honestly think this is very harmful to believe 😭 most of that is patriarchal conditioning imo

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Anonymous #5 9h

I’m a woman and yes they absolutely can. My best friend is married so I sure hope he isn’t in love with me. If he was I would kick his ass because she’s so good for him and they make each other better people

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Anonymous #5 9h

I'm a straight man and disagree! While everyone I've crushed on so far is someone I was friends with first, I have many women friends I only see platonically, and I know the same goes for many of my women friends. This take also ignores non-binary, bi, or pan people because by your logic, they can't be friends with anyone or only non-binary people and that's obviously not true.

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Anonymous #6 9h

It’s not about the “patriarchy”, it’s how men naturally are, there’s nothing wrong with it. And who even cares what the reason is, I’m just telling the truth, whether you wanna hear it or not

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Anonymous #4 9h

I know some men are like that, but that's not true for me. I can only fall for people I know well and have a personality and connection I really admire. I don't care what someone looks like You also act like every guy is straight when there are bi or gay men too

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Anonymous #8 9h

Typically when people say a plural noun to describe people without “the” or “some” or something like that, they are referring to those people *in general*. I shouldn’t have to explain this, but I’m not saying “all men are the same” when I say that, but the majority of men are like that

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Anonymous #7 9h

It’s crazy how I didn’t ask and won’t be reading all dat🤭

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Anonymous #4 9h

I guess for me, maybe it's just the guys I'm surrounded by and know, but this hasn't been what I've seen typically in my guy friends. A lot of them are like me too and tend to value knowing someone well, but I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be pedantic, I just wanted to share what I've noticed/experienced

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Anonymous #4 8h

“How they naturally are” oh… that’s just not true. Referring to any one group as being “naturally” *insert generally negative thing* is not a great way to look at the world. I get where your coming from (in therapy and working in my own generalizations of men due to circumstances and events in my life) but it’s still harmful and tbh just ends up re-enforcing the misogynistic box the patriarchy shives men into :/

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Anonymous #6 8h

So you’re telling me that the patriarchy is why we desire food and water? The patriarchy is why we feel the need to sleep? Some things are just natural, and romantic/sexual feelings are as natural as it gets. Also, why is it negative? Just because it’s different from how women feel about it? Come on now

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Anonymous #4 7h

I’m not sure what dots your connecting 😭 why would the patriarchy be why we desire food and water that’s not even adjacent to what I said? It’s not inherently negative but it’s *usually, if not always* taken as negative because it reduces men’s capacity for emotion and complex thought to something simple, which imo reduces their humanity AND ability to hold themselves accountable 1/2

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Anonymous #6 7h

I get that groups of people can show a general trend of different ways of thinking, but we should then look at *why*: the patriarchy equally rewards and punishes (status for emotional repression) men for simplistic desires and emotions, because anything more than that is seen as degrading (feminine). The CAPACITY for complexity is the same regardless of sex. I think the difference shows up due to conditioning.

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Anonymous #5 7h

Ur so cool by saying I didn’t ask im about to drop to my knees with how epic that was got any more amazing one liners for us or r u gonna reply with another salty comment which will also be ignored

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Anonymous #4 7h

Are you a man? If not, you don’t get to speak for us. I don’t go around telling you what a period is like, and you don’t get to tell me how I go about with platonic relationships. If you are, you don’t represent the other 4 billion men on this planet and it’s incredibly self centered to assume you do

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Anonymous #4 7h

Saying it’s our fault because of our gender is like excusing a criminal of their crime because they “just happened to be a man”

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Anonymous #9 7h

“And that they couldn’t control themselves because they were a man and those feelings come naturally”

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Anonymous #6 7h

That was sarcasm, thought it was obvious but my fault if it wasn’t. The point is, it is natural for the majority of men to be attracted to someone based on looks alone naturally, but you’re saying it’s a patriarchy thing, which I think is stupid, sorry. And “negative” is subjective, maybe it does make a lot of us shallow. Okay, so what? If you don’t like that, find a guy who isn’t shallow.

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Anonymous #4 7h

I understand what I’m saying is unpopular opinion, but I believe it is the honest truth, and I would rather give an honest answer rather than tell people what they wanna hear

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Anonymous #4 6h

It… it is a patriarchy thing. We live in a patriarchal society- it is BAKED into the foundation of it, LITERALLY since the invention of agriculture, so yeah it’s gonna affect the behavior of everyone in it because it has a shit ton of really stupid social rules that hurt everybody. We can agree to disagree on this I guess.

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Anonymous #4 6h

Also I fear even though it was sarcasm, that sarcasm doesn’t fit there? It seems like a nonsensical phrase to me.

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Anonymous #6 6h

Yes agree to disagree because there is no way in my opinion that is true. And as a man I feel like I should know more than you about what is natural and what isn’t

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Anonymous #6 6h

It makes perfect sense. You’re making a perfectly natural thing into a “patriarchy” thing, therefore I compared it to making other perfectly natural things a patriarchy thing

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Anonymous #5 6h

It’s crazy how you can still have basic human decency for people responding. This isn’t a private post and I can make my own comments. You don’t have to read them of course but you also don’t have to be rude

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