Anonymous OP 16w

100% agreed bro

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Anonymous #2 16w

^

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Anonymous #2 16w

I get that. I think it gets super complicated on both ends. Like sometimes I feel like certain men overlook aspects of the patriarchy that affect women’s experiences because of the “not all men” rhetoric. But I can also see how some women mislabel certain things as sexist/patriarchal based in the assumption that men act in certain ways solely because of the patriarchy. Idkk, I think we need to get better at having conversations about it somehow

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Anonymous #2 16w

wdym "not allowed"?

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Anonymous #4 16w

We allowed to say things, but it is clear that saying “not all men” paints a target on your back. Hearing “all men” followed by the most despicable thing I’m not capable of imagining hurts. I’m not trying to take away or minimize what women have dealt with. But admitting I’m in pain, seemingly implies that I only care about the patriarchy and myself. It implies I’m not chastising and punishing men I have never met in my life enough.

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Anonymous #2 16w

Even if these feelings are just feelings I still have to sort through, I shouldn’t be demonized for sharing them. Men can only protect women, when women let men protect them. The current social/political climate makes me not want to approach women I don’t already know, for better or worse.

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Anonymous #2 16w

interesting

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Anonymous #2 16w

That makes a ton of sense to me. I 100% agree that people need to have these conversations and sort through their feelings & that unfortunately that is demonized in our current political climate in more areas than just with the patriarchy. I wish there were more places/resources for men to talk these things through without being automatically labeled as sexist or whatever.

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Anonymous OP 16w

I think part of the issue could be that there are guys who will take that to mean that the actually sexist notions they have are normal/valid. But then there are people like you (#2)who are being genuine about it who get grouped in with those guys which isn’t fair

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Anonymous strawberry_hair 16w

So when I hear about things like this- the fear of good men but the understandable fear of bad men this is the example I think of now. There’s no easy solution for this either.

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Anonymous #8 16w

what do you need a source for?

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Anonymous #10 16w

I’m being harsh honestly, all SA is bad and I’m tired of it being a men vs women thing, it should be normal people vs creepy people

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Anonymous #10 16w

This. As a woman the number of my guy friends who have experienced SA and been told horrible things about it by women because it “isn’t real” or whatever is fucking insane. like we can protect all victims and not make this a “well we have it worse thing” and it isn’t hard

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Anonymous #10 16w

Literallyyy, it really should be normal people vs. creepy people. I am sorry that has happened to you. I honestly don’t get why people would think its normal to react that way. What happened to you is horrible

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Anonymous #13 16w

True true, I have just seen a lot of comment sections recently full of people making negative generalizations about the opposite sex & it made me kinda worried about how that is affecting our perceptions of eachother

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Anonymous OP 16w

Honestly, yeah. It’s very frightening how divided we are. It shouldn’t be one or the other, all victims are victims, we need to meet and understand that each side will understand their own better, but both are important

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The problem is that you’re still looking at it as a “men vs women” thing when it’s weirdos like that in the comments vs normal people like us

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Anonymous #10 15w

it's not a "creep vs normal people" thing most of the time tho. people might have a strong reaction to this but a lot of perpetrators of rape/sa are "normal" people. it's most often a partner, family or friend and the situations are often far more nuanced and complex than simply "creep creeping on people" - a lot of people don't even realize they're perpetrators or victims (sometimes both)

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Anonymous #10 15w

additionally, recognizing massive disparities in gender of perpetrators is not making it a "man vs woman" thing. what makes it a man vs woman thing is that, according to the justice dept, roughly 99% of perpetrators are men. sorry, there's just no getting around that. it's not even remotely close. if we address the issue with men perps it becomes all but nonexistent, and frankly i think it would naturally follow that it reduces with women given the social dynamics that lead some women to be perp

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Anonymous #4 15w

I agree with you on this but I honestly think that that can be true at the same time as acknowledging that it is creepy/abnormal people who do those things. Esp because gender norms and stuff are changing fast. Like younger generations are different than men in older generations & they are doing things differently. I think it makes complete sense to teach your children to go to women for help bc it’s statistically a safer option but yeah idk

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