Anonymous OP 15w

and two downvotes..! :/

11

Anonymous #1 15w

i like this answer! thank you :)

2

i haven’t had a single male friend (and i have many) who haven’t subconsciously treated women harmfully. i love these friends of mine but i have to say as a whole, your self recognition needs work.

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Anonymous #3 15w

me too! lets be friends 😊

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Anonymous #5 15w

honestly? better than having homies that are wifebeaters

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Anonymous OP 15w

Exactly, basically what #3 said spot on

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Anonymous #5 15w

ur a good man :) manifesting other good ppl in your direction

1

Anonymous OP 15w

Thanks, right back at you

1

i have! one of the biggest things is feeling a subconscious ownership of the women they hang around, friends and lovers alike. a lot of men don’t realize the controlling and/or sexualizing ways they treat the women in their life until it’s pointed out to them. this is no hate, this is an observation.

5

i don’t mind at all! seeing their friends differently or as less of a friend, for having been with a mutual (male) acquaintance of theirs is one of the most obvious things i’ve noticed. as if a woman is made to be less than by virtue of being in association with a different man whether she’s a friend, past lover, or current/potential lover. lmk if you can see where im coming from?

5

similarly but on an opposite plane, many of my guy friends have only taken stories i’ve told them (regarding difficult situations such as abuse) seriously once i told them the nitty gritty details, to the point where they could recognize “oh yeah, that sounds bad enough that i feel a personal rage that MY friend had to deal with it”. that or they ‘respected me’ too much, or saw me as too strong, to have been a victim of it. (p1)

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that is, these scenarios would only elicit the same reaction i’d have received from any female friend, if they could attach to it a realistic image of their version of me. it’s a mild way of putting it but men typically see this kind of suffering through a lens of “he damaged what’s mine”.. i hope that doesn’t sound offensive or accusatory?

1

i doubt it. most women feel empathy for situations such as that because they personally can relate. and to your other point, i’m a lesbian and always have been. my guy friends do not see me as available and they know better — that’s why they’re my friends.

3

that may be true. i just never understood the difference in outrage between something horrible happening to an unnamed woman vs. a woman a man feels ownership of. be it his sister, mother, or friend — none of whom he feels sexual desire toward

1

i know what you’re saying! but babying isn’t the same thing as what i’m talking about, i’m not sure i have the right words to explain it but in my experience it feels very different

1

i just feel based on what i’ve seen the conditions for this discomfort are different between women you see as “yours” vs women you still know but don’t feel are one of “yours”, to word it plainly

1