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Ask Men 15w
I dont really understand the difficulty and esp the hopelessness of men not being able to find partners/intimacy?For reference im a lesbian and by no means conventionally attractive and while it was hard in red areas now that ive moved its no problem
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upvote 18 downvote
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Anonymous 15w

I think both lesbian women and straight men are struggling to date women especially when so much of dating occurs online, and women tend to value in person connections and take a holistic view of potential partners. You are right tho we shouldn’t be hopeless and moving can make a big difference !

upvote 23 downvote
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Anonymous 15w

Like if you arent finding connections where you live would you put moving on the table? I suppose its diff cuz i moved due to hate crimes but yk maybe there are places yall would have more success? Idk the root of it for straight men tho

upvote 12 downvote
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Anonymous 15w

as a bi woman, it’s the most unattractive lesbians i know that get all the play ngl😭

upvote 11 downvote
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Anonymous 15w

It’s a long cycle that can be frustrating, I work up the confidence to talk to someone, I get rejected, I move on. Maybe I get a first date but she doesn’t ask a single question back and I feel like she just wanted free lunch. If I find someone that wants something serious, I find out they’re talking to their ex still. I keep trying to only talk to 1 person at a time and typically spend like 1 month talking before finding huge red flags and leaving. The 1 time I found someone I really really

upvote 9 downvote
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Anonymous 15w

I’m a virgin and the main thing is I’m terrified of rejection. To the point I avoid dating and women entirely and just keep friends around me

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous 15w

You are not perceived as a possible threat as we are (unfortunately for women’s safety we must be viewed that way)

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous 15w

A lesbian gets turned down=no big deal, man gets turned down=now he’s a creep and harassing the woman if he doesn’t get the hint

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous 15w

The most intimate I’ve ever been with a woman was when she told me she used to have a crush on me until she met her boyfriend.

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 15w

They don’t try. Ask a man what his wardrobe looks like, when’s the last time he went shopping, what is his hygiene and grooming profile like. Ask him what his hinge profile looks like. Ask him when’s the last time he talked to a woman and didn’t expect sex. Ask him if he has female friends who he cherishes and doesn’t secretly want to one day hook up with them. Ask him if he has any female role models that he respects or characters that he idolizes.

upvote -6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 15w

Good point, dating apps are so fucked im so glad i met my gf through friends. Its so weird and dehumanizing to reduce yourself to a business card and then sift through clogged messages or likes that dont even say anything. Feels like replying to emails

upvote 17 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 15w

Yea as a guy I don’t think it really communicates the information that women are looking for. Like my ex gf could recall subtle details about my demeanor, my smile or how I moved about in the real world, not what my face looked like in a static picture

upvote 13 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> beestboy 15w

A lot of the “difficulty” men experience when it comes to dating women boils down to their fundamental lack of understanding and respect for their fellow human counterpart. If a dude would just be actually considerate to the female experience, it would be a lot easier to pursue partnership, he would at least be better off than 75% of man

upvote -6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> beestboy 15w

You know your takes would almost be respectable if you werent so insufferable

upvote 13 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 15w

Don’t let the messenger stop u from getting the message 🤷🏻

upvote -6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 15w

Girl what... u sound jealous lowkey

upvote -1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 15w

Prob because they ain’t hung up on arbitrary beauty standards

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 15w

that wasn’t the point but ok

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 15w

What was the point then. I dont think youre actually jealous just kind of a weird thing to say

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 15w

oh fs. when it comes to women i honestly care less about looks/features. if they're cool, have good taste, kind, and know how to please a woman that's all i need

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> sea_taco 15w

Actually scratch that it was when I got SA’d.

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> sea_taco 15w

So yeah idk at this point. Never kissed, never been in a relationship, virgin (obviously), and no reason to think any of that will change in the near future. Why on earth would I have hope lol? I don’t even have a frame of reference on what to hope for.

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> sea_taco 15w

Sorry, I’m not having a great evening. I think I just need to get leaner.

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #6 15w

Wanted, she didn’t want me back. I’ve changed a ton, improved my life in many ways, and it’s gotten to a point where dating usually just makes my life more difficult instead of better. I’m frustrated because my dream relationship doesn’t exist and no matter how much effort I put in, there’s no guarantee that I’ll have a good outcome

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 15w

My family hasn’t left the state in generations and every time one of us did, it backfired. We’re kinda cursed to stay local but I at least moved cities

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 15w

I would if I got a good job somewhere else

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 15w

Fr

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #6 15w

so real

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> lamboperry 15w

I wish this were true but lesbians esp mascs like me get the same if not worse treatment often as we get seen as predators by homophobes :( often ill even get kicked out of womens bathrooms

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 15w

Lesbians for sure are perceived as threats :(

upvote 0 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 15w

Not as much a men I assure you, a woman is always gonna trust a random woman more than a random man and for good reason

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 15w

People should be kinder in general :(

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 15w

Not as much in some ways but much more in others. Like i cant go in womens locker rooms even in liberal areas without making women uncomfortable. If i talk to women with bfs at work just like making their coffee men will feel they need to "protect" their gfs from me. Its the same mechanism as for men rlly just through homophobia

upvote 0 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 15w

Ig people can tell ur a lesbian then? Or you a masc presenting one

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 15w

Yes and masc but its been a thing since i came out when i was 12

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> beestboy 15w

When they’re a part of the problem and refuse to see anything any other way

upvote 10 downvote