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Ask Men 9w
If I want to meet a guy in real life and I go to coffee shops, I walk along public trails when I workout, I go out to bars etc, what should I do to signal I’m open to being approached.
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27
upvote 47 downvote
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Anonymous 9w

dont be "open to being approached" approach people yourself

upvote 48 downvote
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Anonymous 9w

Eye contact, followed by a smile is welcoming if u want them to come up to u. At bars I’ve noticed if u get ur friends to move closer, s lot of times they’ll get their friends and also come closer, then u just start talking

upvote 14 downvote
🦧
Anonymous 9w

You gotta drop your handkerchief or something so they can pick it up

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous 9w

As a women who was rasied under the traditon waiting for the men to approach i do think that is truly dying out. Usually men who do approach women in public don't care about making women uncomfortable. I'd suggest approaching yourself but that can also be just as unsafe.

upvote 9 downvote
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Anonymous 9w

Church. Girl going to church alone or with one or two friends are often “looking for a husband”. It’s a much more traditional courtship “dance” but I’ve found that to be often true for my sisters/female friends.

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous 9w

i would smile at him, tbh that’s kind of it

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 9w

Smile and make eye contact

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 9w

I wanna be approached too, but since it doesn’t happen, I either gotta do it myself or just live with being single. Same goes for you

upvote 0 downvote
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Anonymous 9w

don’t be so desperate it’s really unflattering

upvote -1 downvote
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Anonymous 9w

Is yik yak not real life?

upvote -4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> oranguru 9w

oh how chivalrous

upvote 9 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> seeya_space_cowboy 9w

Correct

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> seeya_space_cowboy 9w

I’d be open to chatting with anyone that approaches and is kind. But for me to approach someone Id have to be super attracted to them. So I don’t get that urge often. I have started conversations before and it goes well

upvote -3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> seeya_space_cowboy 9w

And the kind of man I’m looking for is the kind that approaches so that defeats the purpose of

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 9w

this is fair, but keep in mind, if you would only approach people you're super attracted to, that might be how the men who you want to approach you are feeling as well

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> seeya_space_cowboy 9w

I’ve thought of this which is fair. Maybe next time I feel half an urge I’ll give it a shot

upvote 12 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #9 9w

I honestly love being single. If anything I prefer doing things alone. Id rather be alone and independent than be with someone not meant for me. I actually feel like I’ve gotten so used to it that it will be difficult for me to incorporate someone when I do meet the right guy eventually

upvote 11 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 9w

Then just go about your life as usual. If something happens, it happens, and if it doesn’t, well you seem to prefer it that way

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #9 9w

Well said. That’s what I’m doing. I go to all those places I mentioned because I enjoy being in those spaces, interacting with other people who enjoy those spaces can be nice.

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 9w

respect for actually thinking about other peoples perspective🙏🏽

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #12 9w

Also they (girls) get to pick church outfits rather than slutty bar outfits so I think it does a better job sorting out what a guys intentions are. If my sister met a guy in a bar I have to wonder what his end goals are. If she met him at church I at least have a better vibe on what he was looking for.

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #12 9w

Nothing against bars saying that, I’m just a math guy.

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 9w

i would say when you do meet the right person, it will feel really natural to do things with them. they wont interfere as much as add on to the experience and that's kinda how you know theyre the right one.

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> seeya_space_cowboy 9w

Agreed. I’ve been in two relationships so I know what that feels like

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #12 9w

Well if she’s a nice girl and she goes to bars couldn’t she assume it’s possible to meet a nice guy who goes to bars?

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #13 9w

Absolutely not the same thing

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 9w

It’s def a possibility. Doing the math based on time, it would just be a function of proximity to both good and bad guys and time she would be spending interacting with both depending on the ratio. Arrogant drunk guys are more likely to try to take up her time in bars.

upvote 3 downvote