Ask Men on Yik Yak | how do i know if it’s stalking or just poor social skills this guy constantly walks by my table when im eating meals stares at me try’s to find any reason to talk to me goes to places he knows it’ll be just to stare at me I can’t tell is this normal

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Ask Men 16w

how do i know if it’s stalking or just poor social skills this guy constantly walks by my table when im eating meals stares at me try’s to find any reason to talk to me goes to places he knows it’ll be just to stare at me I can’t tell is this normal

Anonymous 16w

Social skills😭

☁️

Anonymous 16w

As a stalker myself this sounds like a casual at best. I wouldn’t worry about it. He probably doesn’t even own binoculars

Anonymous 16w

As a guy, my guess based on your description is that he has a crush on you and wants to initiate a conversation with you but gets shy/nervous/cold-feet or struggles to find an opening and so ends up just staring at you, but doesn’t have sufficient social awareness or social skills to realize how he’s coming across in doing so.

Anonymous

#1 16w

Also people who stalk don’t approach the people they are stalking. Usually.

Anonymous

#3 16w

My guess is he doesn’t have malicious intent to harm you or make you uncomfortable, but of course that doesn’t change the fact of him making you uncomfortable regardless of his intent.

Anonymous

#3 16w

I know many women are often afraid of how guys will react to them being direct, but if you think it’s safe to do so, if you don’t want to interact with him, I would kindly but directly let him know that, as well as tell him that while you don’t necessarily believe it’s his intent, him going to places you frequent approaching you trying to initiate conversation despite your lack of interest is making you feel uncomfortable and that you’d like him to stop doing so.

Anonymous

#3 16w

Assuming it is unintentional on his part due to a lack of social skills and awareness, he’ll probably be embarrassed, ashamed, mortified, and apologetic once this is brought to his attention. It would be more embarrassing and mortifying though for him to learn of this by receiving a no contact order or from a third party.

Anonymous

#3 16w

So ultimately, if you believe it is safe to do so, being direct and honest with him in order to bring this to his attention of how his actions are coming across will hopefully prevent this from happening in the future with not just yourself but also other women who could potentially report him to the school rather than be direct with him, so you would ultimately be doing him and them a favor in being direct and honest with him.

Anonymous

#3 16w

Of course, prioritize your own safety, and if there is a reason you believe he may be acting intentionally or maliciously and may not react in a safe manner to you being direct and honest with him, then don’t. Ultimately it’s a judgment call since you and I don’t know him and how he will react with certainty, and I only know what you included in your post so perhaps there could be relevant details omitted.

Anonymous

#3 16w

Also, if the issue is that you just feel unnerved by him staring at you without him saying anything, but you wouldn’t be against having an actual conversation with him and are open to getting to know him, then the next time he approaches or walks by you could initiate a conversation with him yourself.