Anonymous #2 5w

It’s not that I deploy them, they made the decision to do that. They do try to come across like they are just getting to know him.

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Anonymous bobthebuilt 5w

They are mostly asking him questions, the way the format their questions does seem a little like an interrogation but the guy usually picks up on what’s happening and tries to show that hes a good one for me

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Anonymous OP 5w

Oh well then yea it’s fine, they are basically giving the dad typa talk it’s wtvr

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Anonymous OP 5w

Oh, so as you envision/have seen it, he KNOWS they’re doing this though? Like, he doesn’t think these are two random strangers, he knows they’re meeting him bc they have some connection to you?

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Anonymous #2 5w

Yes, it’s kinda like a family party or dinner party. Where he meets my parents and my close friends. The brothers come and try to sit him down to ask some questions. Then later on after the party is over, they tell my parents or me whether or not they think the guy is good for me. So it isn’t a random ambush or anything the guy knows who they are and he’s just having a meal with my family essentially

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Anonymous OP 5w

Hm. Im good with family & friends while we keep it light, but once I detect a whiff of an “are you good enough for [X]” interrogation, Id tolerate that from my gf, her parents, & AT BEST, her drunk (female) bff. Anyone else and… I mean, I guess Id fail that test in the sense of not playing. At best Id laugh & start giving sarcastic answers. At worst, very vague ones and subtle hints that Ill resume this conversation with my girl & no longer care to open up to Inspector Peanut-Gallery

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Anonymous #2 5w

I personally feel like this might be a good way to weed out men with bad intentions. I feel like if i saw a guy react the way you are describing id assume he doesn’t respect me or the people that care at me if he cant take it seriously. These guys have known me for 10+ years and have been family to me. I feel like a man with good intentions would have no problem with talking to my “brothers” respectfully, and would know they just dont wanna see me get used or hurt.

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Anonymous OP 5w

It’s not like I’m having stranger men weigh in on the relationship, It’s a few guys that have known me my whole life and are like family.

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Anonymous OP 5w

And it’s not overly personal or invasive questions , it’s a more subtle pry but somehow they always interrupt correctly

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Anonymous OP 5w

Well imo, whatever you’re weeding out, it’s not that. I’ve got nothing but the best of intentions for MY girl, yet, like I said, there are very few people I want passing judgment on my relationship. That would feel patronizing to me and infantilizing to her. I mean, you can FEEL like someone with good intentions would have no problem with that, but you’d be mistaken at least some times. And it’s not even a lack of respect for them; I respect myself as much as anyone, but still recognize limits o

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Anonymous #2 5w

n what is any of my business or what I’m qualified to rule on. I wouldn’t perform brain surgery, not because I’m not smart enough, but for the same reason I wouldn’t want the brain surgeon doing my job. I recognize those limits even with respect to family members I’m very close to; protective as I may feel, adults need to be able to navigate their own relationships, which is why I’ve never intentionally “vetted” anyone’s bf even when I’ve met them and made nice

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