Ask Men on Yik Yak | thought he just wanted a summer fling but now he’s inviting me over to meet his family. i’ve played these games before and still got played. how do i know if he’s serious? it hasn’t even been a month.

Yik Yak

Download

Join communities on Yik Yak Download

Ask Men 15w

thought he just wanted a summer fling but now he’s inviting me over to meet his family. i’ve played these games before and still got played. how do i know if he’s serious? it hasn’t even been a month.

Anonymous 15w

Honestly he might not be serious and it’s hard to tell. Some people don’t think of meeting someone’s family as serious. I would just take it for what it is and not assign a degree of seriousness based on that one isolated event

Anonymous 15w

(Girl here) Ooo, I played this one before. He’s probably emotionally unavailable. Maybe you have had good vulnerable moments together before. But when people rush the relationship like this it’s called lovebombing, not always malicious, but can come from incompetence or insecurity too. What you have to do is ask for more emotional intimacy, time together. Let the honeymoon phase end, and if he’s not competent he will end things/ghost

Anonymous 15w

The stress was making him shut down and pull away, which is actually the mark of an avoidant person. Then when more aspects of the relationship needed to be talked through, he ghosted. My advice is to initiate that “pressure” (which is really just normal healthy communication to work through challenges in a relationship) early on. Because the right guy will have the capacity and care to handle criticism, stress and be accountable. The wrong guy will run away.

Anonymous 15w

It’s better to know now, rather than feel like your affection and connection was in vain down the road.

Anonymous 15w

And if it works out, your relationship is stronger and healthier for the better, sooner

Anonymous

#2 15w

Just think to yourself, “how deep do i want to get with this person if this all may just end soon”

Anonymous

#1 15w

you’re right. i should really just go with the flow i’d just hate for my time to be wasted.

Anonymous

#2 15w

i literally straight up asked if he’s love bombing me 😭. he’s very, very chalant & is very sweet. we work in the same area so i’ll see him regularly. wanting me to meet his parents so soon shocked me but he was so sure his family would love me. first time i’ve ever met a guy’s family, they were all in on what he was doing 🫩

Anonymous

#2 15w

you’re right. with his words and actions i don’t see this ending soon like i did before. he genuinely wants to go on and plan dates & things like that.

Anonymous

OP 15w

You have to do the test like I said, unless you’re cool with it possibly blowing up later after you invested a lot into him. The sweetness now doesn’t make the difference, it’s his ability to deal with the reality and seriousness of a relationship. Not rushing milestones. Once there are problems to work through, or once life gets stressful, once there is conflict — thats where the real quality is shown.

Anonymous

#2 15w

mmmm!!! i see! you have MANY valid points & pointed out some things i should’ve learned after the first time i’ve experienced this. how should i act? i usually don’t care about relationships and things but now i’m really an adult & gotta get my shit together. should i take it slow & put a little distance? we’re in our early 20s.

Anonymous

#2 15w

sorry if i sound dumb. i’m new to this and obviously need some big sister advice.

Anonymous

OP 15w

Yes, I just got out of a very similar experience. Sweetest guy, loved being genuine and open, loved planning dates and providing. He initiated texting with me everyday and went exclusive with me. After a few weeks he stopped responding so much, so I asked him about it. He told me how he is deeply insecure, and then his car broke down so he didn’t know how he was going to see me, and other life stressors began hitting him.