Yik Yak logo
Download TikTok Instagram X
Yik Yak icon
Join communities on Yik Yak Download
Ask Men icon
Ask Men 4w
I will always support victims of abuse, but as a guy who was falsely accused of horrible things, it's difficult to see those "my abuser was ___!" posts without questioning the full story. All abusers deserve jail, but it's also easy to ruin someone's life
comment

15
upvote 59 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 4w

Yeah, I want to be sympathetic in all cases, but one time a girl (who I thought at the time was into me) said I was “threatening to rape her”, because I recommended her some slightly horny rock n roll songs.

upvote 18 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 4w

I know there wasn't really a question there, but I just need to know that I'm not crazy. I want to believe all victims, but I know so many people with similar stories to me. It's not hard to see that many guys aren't so lucky. Unfortunately, I think that has irreversibly tainted my view of it. I am genuinely happy for those who got justice for the abuse they endured.

upvote 13 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 4w

I know a guy who was falsely accused and spent jail time and was later deemed innocent. Not only did he spend months in jail as an innocent man but he also had to move because his reputation was still ruined even after they said he was innocent. Even his friends were against him and the girl who accused him was still spouting off shit online about him and how he’s a bad person

upvote 11 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 4w

It can be difficult to know who to believe sometimes, and often people just side with their own gender because of the whole gender wars thing

upvote 10 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 4w

I always see it as three sides the victims side the accused side and the truth/left out details from the other 2 sides

upvote 3 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 4w

What people react off emotion and don't critically think I'm shocked

upvote 3 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 4w

I am a girl and I completely agree with you. In highschool a girl was mad I had been with her boyfriend before they got together. She started telling everyone I sa him. I asked him if he felt that way and if he did that I was sorry. He said “no I’m sorry I’m trying to tell everyone she’s lying”. This made me suicidal as everyone thought I sa him. I am a strong supporter of victims of abuse but it is TOO easy for people to make up false accusations to ruin someone’s life !

upvote 3 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 4w

also some people call their parents their abusers because they like told them to get a job or whatever. I feel like the term is overused and watered down. I was assaulted by someone who did not abuse me. I just call him my enemy

upvote 2 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #2 4w

The second half of this definitely parallels my situation. Thankfully I avoided any legal battles but it tanked my reputation in a way that cost me an entire circle of friends. It's a herculean task to rebuild your social life & confidence in a place where everyone you knew is tearing you down. Thankfully I've managed to salvage my life and even reconnect with one or two of those friends, but the fact that I was so easily discardable just makes my blood boil. I hope your guy is doing better.

upvote 10 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #3 4w

It's the fact that the people who do this never face repercussions. I respect that it would also make real victims reconsider sharing their stories out of fear of a legal battle, which I do not want to do. But at the same time, any action that could have this level of impact on a person's life NEEDS to be more scrutinized than it is now.

upvote 8 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

I hope he is too and I’m glad that you were able to recover. SA definitely happens more than false accusations of SA but the thing is there’s a ton of innocent people in prison and I’m willing to bet a lot of those people are victims of false accusations. It’s severely underreported and a lot of people are unaware of how much it can ruin your entire life even if they find out the truth and deem you innocent

upvote 10 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #2 4w

I absolutely agree. Unfortunately, it's very difficult to find a way to punish wrongful accusers without making it harder for real victims to get justice. I don't necessarily agree with the people who say that it should be treated the SAME as SA or rape, but some kind of legal barrier of scrutiny for malicious cases needs to be present otherwise nothing will change.

upvote 6 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

I agree. Women rightfully should support other women, there's a lot of cases where they need it. But that doesn't mean it should be expected for them to blindly believe those women. There's nuance to every situation. The same ultimately goes for men, but based on the other comments I've been seeing, I feel like there is some awareness of this already.

upvote 3 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #8 4w

I'm so sorry that happened to you, i hope things have improved for you since then

upvote 2 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

Things did improve. They eventually broke up over those issues and I think he finally told her it’s not right to go around spreading lies like that. Looking back, I should have sent her a cease and desist for spreading that rumor about me. But, for the future I just hope there is a better system dealing with these types of things. False accusations are no joke

upvote 3 downvote