Anonymous OP 1d

Don’t blow this off. Use those 3 days to figure out why the comment made you so mad and how you can avoid going off like that in the future

11

Anonymous #1 23h

I know how to do it and I know the series of decisions that led me to that place. In that moment I lost control but I now know the 10 things that happened first that are much easier to control. She’s finding every reason possible we aren’t compatible and it’s led her to an entire state of doubt. What do I do?

0

Anonymous #2 22h

She told me she doesn’t know how she can go on because she knows her future husband won’t talk to her like that

0

Anonymous OP 21h

You have to demonstrate that you’ve learned from your experience. Her future husband has learned to be the kind of man that won’t do things like that to her. She’s going to have to trust you that nothing like that will happen again.

8

Anonymous #2 21h

How do I do that I don’t know if she will believe me. I’m scared that no contact will not leave her missing me but happy she’s not at risk for these days. She snaps me really quick and did first thing this morning but I eventually went back to no contact and left it

0

Anonymous OP 21h

Respond to her!! She wants to talk to you!! (Unless you think it’s better for yourself). Also, you don’t know if she can trust you. That’s a gamble you’ll have to take. There is still the very real chance that this is the end of your relationship. It’s not the likeliest outcome, but it’s enough to not ignore n

6

Anonymous #2 21h

She’s clearly overwhelmed by me though and seeking for reasons to end things like what if she needs to see that I have restraint since I blew up her phone? She’s an avoidant btw

1

Anonymous #3 19h

And what if she decides it was just too much because she spent the first 2 days no contact determining that she needed to break up and a line was crossed and can’t go back

0

Anonymous OP 19h

Then that's up to her. I think a serious conversation has to take place between you two and you need to be willing to listen to what she has to say. You can't control her response but you can control your own. If after all that she decides to leave that's her decision and you need to respect it and see this as a learning experience

1

Anonymous #3 19h

She truly is the love of my life. This wasn’t a lost spark issue or any of that it’s just a weak moment of my own actions it’s hard to think she’d throw it all away

0

Anonymous loverboy 19h

I took accountability and left her with a note explaining my sorrow and what I had done to her

0

Anonymous OP 19h

After that is when she said all the things she had drafted up

0

Anonymous OP 18h

I mean that's up to her. If she really feels like this scared her or crossed a serious line or showed something underlying with you that she simply can't get over then no she probably isn't the love of your life and you two may not ultimately be compatible if that's the case. I get what you're saying but also if that's her decision you can't force her to stay with you. All you can do is show genuine remorse and that you have learned from your actions and are committed to not repeating it

1

Anonymous OP 18h

If this really was a one time lapse of judgement that you are sure you won't let happen again ask her to give you a chance and let you prove it. Hopefully she will see how much you care. But again. You can't force her to be with you

9

Anonymous #3 18h

What should I do if she comes back later? She’s gonna definitely miss us eventually we were very close

-1

Anonymous OP 18h

Also give her the benefit of the doubt here. You're assuming what she's doing and thinking these two days and already working yourself up before even talking to her

1

Anonymous OP 18h

She might miss you, she might not. No way to tell. But if you still are invested you just do the same thing. Apologize and prove you've changed

8

Anonymous #3 18h

We talked last night and she wanted to end things but it was a very anxious and clear predetermined set of notes she prepared (she admitted she wasn’t expecting me to do what I did and apologize) then said she needs more space

0

Anonymous OP 18h

Just because she didn't get a chance to hear you out doesn't mean that everything she said is no longer valid. It sounds like you really hurt her and she wanted to organize her thoughts. That can still be true even if you do apologize. She may be more open to trying again after hearing you out but that doesn't change what you did

1

Anonymous OP 11h

hope it works out for you man just go on a walk next time you get riled up n leave that phone inside the drawer . we gotta regulate emotions better as men

8

Anonymous OP 38m

Ok now ur annoying me. We told you to be honest and apologize and change your behavior. That's literally all you can do is show remorse and that you care. If she decides that she can't get over this well damn that sucks but you NEED to respect her decisions as an adult and move on if that's what she wants

1

Anonymous OP 38m

This sounds lowkey condescending asf towards her. Seems like you still have some work to do man

1