Ask Men on Yik Yak | genuinely what is up with rape culture ?? why is it so common to sa or rape people as a man??

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Ask Men 2d

genuinely what is up with rape culture ?? why is it so common to sa or rape people as a man??

Anonymous 2d

It’s not common for men to do that dawg.

Anonymous 2d

Not as common as you make it out to be... But, to answer your question, it comes down to a feeling of control. For one reason or another, the dudes who do rape are feeling a lack of control, so they do that to exercise some kind of control. A lot of it comes down to probably taking stuff from society and then just horribly misinterpreting it.

Anonymous 2d

I know yall wanna say it’s not common but like as a girl most of us either have been raped, or at least assaulted, or know someone who has. So it’s hard for us to actually convince ourselves it’s rare when all lived experience says otherwise

Anonymous 2d

…..it’s not????😭😭

Anonymous 2d

It’s not common. It’s the same few men doing it constantly.

Anonymous 1d

i just have to say i am NOT saying all men , i am asking WHY rape and sexual assault is so common among men !! i never once said all men or that men are evil, and anyone can be sexually assaulted or rape regardless of gender or identity i just am curious as to why it’s so common among men specifically and want to understand !! especially because i was raped myself !!

Anonymous 2d

Some people are bad

Anonymous 2d

“Rape culture” isn’t real, it’s just the trash of society supporting other trash members of society. They are the worst of the worst that should be purged of this world

Anonymous 1d

So many compared to what? What’s the normal amount/baseline you’re comparing it to? As for why those who do it do it, I imagine it’s a combination of societal norms and messaging pushing the narrative that a lack of sex appeal is the worst quality a man can have (worse than being violent or pushy) and that reading women’s minds and deciding what he wants is your job as a man. We all reinforce those messages, almost constantly. So I think guys devote their full efforts to getting laid (nothing e

Anonymous 2d

I’ve never done either

Anonymous

#1 2d

it is though, especially in college settings

Anonymous

OP 2d

Just because rape and sa are typically done by men does not mean that most men do those things.

Anonymous

#1 2d

that is not what i said, i never said most men do these things, i asked why it was so common as a man to do these things

Anonymous

#1 2d

It may be true that most men don’t do these things, but enough so that most of us have had first or second hand experience with it

Anonymous

#4 2d

Like all of my friends have at least been assaulted, at least one raped. My grandmother lived on an occupied island where US military men just raped every chance they got. She was raped, her mother was raped to death, it still happens there to this day. It was not the rare exception, it was the EXPECTATION that these men would try to rape, obviously not all, my grandad was a wonderful military man who never did any of that, but it was SO common it was the norm. And like what does that say about

Anonymous

#4 2d

Male culture that the second men are in a place with no consequences enough turn to it that almost every woman on that island was at risk of rape or just straight up pushed into sex work. Why is that even in modern times my friends can’t go out to a bar without having to actively fight off hands trying to touch us non consensually

Anonymous

#2 2d

Thanks for actually answering the question. I think you’re probably spot on with a lot of that. But here’s the next question. What is it in our culture that makes some men so desperately need control

Anonymous

#4 2d

It's just how they're brought up a lot of the time. Told that you need to take control of your life to be a man, to make money, to find people, stuff like that. But the problem is that control is being stripped away from people day by day, so some of those tuned a certain way end up snapping

Anonymous

#2 2d

Interesting. I’ve heard something similar when my bf and I were pondering this. Who are the people who tell you that stuff. Or is it more you pick up those messages from society in general

Anonymous

#4 2d

Society, businesses, government

Anonymous

#2 2d

What kind of methods are they using to spread those messages? I’m so curious bc as a girl I either don’t notice that stuff or don’t encounter it

Anonymous

OP 2d

It’s not common for men to do that. I’d be willing to bet that 95% of rape and SA is committed by repeat offenders who make men as a whole look bad.

Anonymous

#1 2d

That doesn’t mean rape culture doesn’t exist though.

Anonymous

#4 2d

Have you looked at the job market? Everything is considered competitive

Anonymous

#1 2d

it’s very common, almost every man i know has at least one person he’s sexually assaulted, at least ONCE

-8

Anonymous

OP 2d

Where tf are you meeting these men

Anonymous

#2 2d

College man. The one and only time I went out to a club I kid you not I had to stay sober just so I could push away all the men who were trying to put hands on my friend

Anonymous

OP 2d

Oh come on. Thats 100% a lie and you know it. Either that or you willingly get to know horrible people.

Anonymous

#4 2d

And I am at a “safe” area in a liberal university

-3

Anonymous

#4 2d

Out of my 12 friends at college, none of them have done that kinda shit

Anonymous

#1 2d

Even if they willingly get to know horrible people that proved those horrible people exist to know. It doesn’t take a majority of people for a culture to exist and permeate into a lot of different areas

Anonymous

#2 2d

Exactly bruh. These mfs are just talking out of their ass. There is obviously an SA problem at universities but not to this scale.

Anonymous

#1 2d

You know a part of rape culture is dismissing the problem and turning the other way so it can continue right 😑 refusing to believe women’s stories or even hear and think about them a little bit

Anonymous

#2 2d

I suppose that much is true but like is that inspiring rape?

Anonymous

#4 2d

It's not a direct thing

Anonymous

#2 2d

Interesting. Ty. Any idea how that kind of thing gets fixed?

Anonymous

#4 2d

Eating the rich

Anonymous

#4 2d

I know there’s a problem, but OP is saying that every male she knows has assaulted someone. SA is not common for men to do even though it does happen commonly.

Anonymous

#1 2d

That’s rare but it doesn’t mean she’s lying. It’s not exactly a fun thing for us to lie about.

Anonymous

#5 2d

The culture itself is pretty common tho. It may be a small amount of men, but enough look away or indirectly support it that it can constantly happen to girls

Anonymous

#5 2d

yes and no

Anonymous

#4 2d

OP must be seeking out men who assault women because it’s incredibly unlikely that by chance all her friends are like that.

Anonymous

#1 2d

hey no that’s not what i said, i said men i know not my friends, i would never be friends with someone who assaulted anyone ever regardless of gender, i know sooo many who did though and all of my friends have been assaulted by a man before

Anonymous

OP 2d

How do you know that EVERY man you know has assaulted someone?

Anonymous

#1 2d

they told me or their partners told me or i fucking watch it happen

Anonymous

OP 2d

Look I’m sorry if all the guys you know have done this, but I just don’t believe it. Have a good one.

-1

Anonymous

#7 2d

please read the comments it very much is

Anonymous

#7 2d

Don’t even bother with OP. She just wants to talk about how all men are evil.

Anonymous

#1 2d

That’s not at all what she’s saying

Anonymous

#1 2d

hey so i never said all men are evil?? i know many men who do not and would never SA someone, i was asking why rape culture was so common among men, i am just curious, i dont think all men are evil ??

Anonymous

OP 2d

Ok to be so honest this is a completely false reality that you are absolutely basking in. Honestly it’s straight up comedic and pathetic that this is your genuine outlook on life. One day I really hope you actually face some struggles so you can stop mooching off the ones you see from other women and co-opting them as your own.

Anonymous

OP 2d

You literally just said that every man you know has SA’d or raped someone so which is it?

Anonymous

#7 2d

i am asking this question because i am a rape victim and so are many women i know, i have faced struggles which is why im asking to try and understand, it is not a false reality it is MY reality and the reality of so many women, people like you are the reason nothing ever changes

-1

Anonymous

#1 2d

Talking about her experience isn’t an accusation of all men being evil. Most people I know are LGBTQ . Me saying that is not an accusation that everyone’s gay

Anonymous

#7 2d

If you want to know about reality read my comments about my and my friends and families lived experiences

Anonymous

#1 2d

that is true maybe i should have worded it better, every man i know is a bit vague, but majority i know have, usually without knowing either

Anonymous

OP 2d

Actually you tossing a blanket statement like that over 50% of the population instead of naming the actual perpetrators of these horrific crimes and doing your part in bringing them to justice is the reason nothing ever changes. It has nothing to do with innocent people defending their reputation lmao.

Anonymous

OP 2d

I’m sorry that happened to you and I hope you got justice. That doesn’t mean men commonly do those things though. There are bad apples among every population.

Anonymous

OP 2d

also i wanna point out this isn’t even just women vs men, anyone can be raped or be a rapist regardless of gender

Anonymous

OP 2d

Then why are you specifically and exclusively talking about men???

Anonymous

OP 2d

What would an example of a man SAing someone without knowing it. I’m genuinely curious not hating.

Anonymous

#1 2d

Probably things to do with substances tbh I can see where she’s coming from with that statement

Anonymous

#7 2d

I guess you could make the argument that a large percentage of men who go out and get hammered do tend to do bad things. That can’t be applied to the whole population though.

Anonymous

#1 2d

Because if you’re being hard and fast with the law technically no matter the context any kind of sexual interaction with another person while either you or the partner are under the influence of a cognition altering substance is a valid case of sexual assault even if both of you are in a relationship and consented to it beforehand

Anonymous

#7 1d

due to it being the majority or most stigmatized

Anonymous

#1 1d

if you don’t ask consent, or substance related, or anything that isn’t an enthusiastic yes would be SA

Anonymous

#2 1d

Very thoughtful answers

Anonymous

#10 1d

lse will acceptably substitute to establish self-worth), and when they can’t, rather than accept that nobody wants them (incelhood/failure is not an option) they conclude that women are never expressing themselves truthfully, and (because they want to believe it) that surely she secretly wants him and just needs him to take charge so she doesn’t have to admit it (God forbid anyone think she’s easy). I don’t think they accept that they’re predators. I think they do it so they can sleep at night.

Anonymous

#10 9h

Incels are not the ones doing ts lmao. It’s guys who are used to getting their way with women

Anonymous

#5 6h

I know. But those guys are still under enormous pressure to get laid enough to validate their worth to others, because, like I said, incelhood is not an option. They want to stay in that second category. Being unappealing to the opposite sex is stigmatized even worse than being actually predatory (and often confused with it), so a lot of guys struggle to consider or accept the possibility that sometimes she just doesnt want u. Instead they act as badly as they think they need to to get laid.