Ask Women on Yik Yak | Why don’t women ask men out? (I’m being sincere here, not even joking). Like the whole reason for a lot of dating norms in the past was that women weren’t seen as “capable” But it’s 2026 now, we all know women are just as capable as men, so why not?

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Ask Women 1d

Why don’t women ask men out? (I’m being sincere here, not even joking). Like the whole reason for a lot of dating norms in the past was that women weren’t seen as “capable” But it’s 2026 now, we all know women are just as capable as men, so why not?

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Anonymous 1d

genuinely its so hard for most of us to unlearn what’s been forced down our throats for our entire lives

Anonymous 23h

If I do I am seen as "not the kind of woman a man wants". Where | live it's religious and old fashioned. Women are supposed to become obedient wives and you can't do that if you're the one who asks a guy out

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Anonymous 21h

So I do! But I also know why some don’t. A nice guy who my friend thought seemed nice ended up harassing them for it. I’m NOT saying this is general answer but it happened to more people than just them. He got his friends in on it too. Also the unlearning of the idea that men have to make the first move.

Anonymous 20h

It’s hard unlearning it and asking men out doesn’t always go our way either. I’ve been harassed before and I’m also just simply shy I prefer to be asked out instead

Anonymous 1d

Also, if you do ask men out, then good for you! This is more of a question for the 90% of women who don’t about why they don’t, it’s not meant to be an attack on anybody

Anonymous 20h

I get shot down when I do so I don’t bother.

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Anonymous 21h

On that note, the whole who pays first question, people say “whoever asked the other on the date” and I feel like that’s unfair cuz women hardly ever ask men out *first* . Even the times where I was asked out I was still expected to pay and I’m like this is bs lol

Anonymous 18h

Also btw 9 blocked me from a different conversation where he was pretending to be a woman defending racism. I don’t know what the deal is but it’s weird for sure

Anonymous 16h

I don’t want to be with a man who can’t gather the courage to ask me out. Thats it. Only applies when its obvious we both like each other tho.

Anonymous 19h

It would make everything so much easier. They wouldn’t get rejected nearly as much as if it were the other way around

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Anonymous

orangepopcornn 23h

Valid reason

Anonymous

#2 23h

Do you wanna be with those guys

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Anonymous

#3 23h

No. I enjoy autonomy and it’s not common for women to continue to have that. My great grandfather died and literally only 1 person had something nice to say and it was “One time he didn’t beat me when I messed up”. Afterwards my great grandmother finally got access to the money and was able to do things she wanted. She apologized to my side of the family as he wouldn’t allow her to see us because he hated my grandpa. I don’t want to be with someone who everyone is happier after their death

Anonymous

#2 21h

Then why care about getting turned down by those guys that you’re talking about or even asking them out

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Anonymous

#3 21h

I don’t. That’s why I said “If I do”. I was explaining why in my area that’s not something that happens as I felt like it answered the question. Many of my friends more religious than me are often “encouraged” to be in relationships when they are young. I am actually an outlier for having not dated here

Anonymous

orangepopcornn 20h

this. just because misogyny is “out of fashion” doesn’t mean people don’t still belive misogynistic and patriarchal things, including lots of women. systems of control like patriarchy are socially enforced so they don’t just go away over night. we’ve made progress but lots of people still hold and share and act on these ideas. and lots of people also don’t really engage with feminism on anything more than a vibes based level which isn’t exactly helpful to making progress

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Anonymous

beestboy 20h

Maybe you’re just going out with the wrong women. I grab the bill every single chance I get. I hate the idea of owing anyone anything.

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Anonymous

strawberry_hair 20h

I agree with that. I don’t mind paying most of the time but I def hate paying all Of the time lol

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Anonymous

beestboy 20h

Also I do follow the “however asked the other out should pay.” And when I’ve asked guys- and women! Out I was fully prepared and willing to pay. Hell I don’t even let people pay anyways.

Anonymous

#9 19h

It’s not that simple as many of these comments have said. Also women get rejected too. My best friend got rejected because she was “too fat”. That girl was 128 pounds

Anonymous

#2 19h

It kinda is tho. Most men are not like that, and don’t assume women aren’t often just as mean as that. Ngl it’s pretty easy to tell which men are assholes and which ones aren’t. Every woman I know who has done that irl has had almost immediate success

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Anonymous

#9 18h

I don’t believe you can make that claim as you are not a woman and have not had that experience, just like I can’t speak on how it is for men. I have always been the girl guys asked out as a joke and sometimes I still am even as an adult. It’s not always easy to tell which guy is an asshole. My friend was raped by a guy almost everyone in the school was friends with

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Anonymous

#2 18h

Yea I still see 9 here

Anonymous

beestboy 17h

Wacky

Anonymous

strawberry_hair 14h

That’s really messed up to hear. I’m sorry your friend went through that

Anonymous

#7 14h

It’s messed up if people harass you over it, that’s just wrong. But, I do have a question, you say it “doesn’t always go our way either.” Isn’t that kinda the point though? Like the whole idea behind asking someone out is to shoot your shot, with the possibility of rejection. It hurts, but you move on. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve got good reasons for not wanting to, and being shy is totally a reason not to as well, but I think fear of rejection shouldn’t be one, it’s just part of the process

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Anonymous

OP 14h

It’s fine- well it’s not fine. But they’re doing fine now. Unfortunately, experiences like that are more common than you’d think

Anonymous

#9 14h

Men “are not like that” bc they’re expected to be the ones to ask people out and generally don’t get to have such high standards. Flip it around though, and I don’t think men would be any better than women. Men can be just as rude in their rejections, as many of the women here have pointed out. It’s just a matter of who has the choice to reject and who doesn’t

Anonymous

OP 13h

Oh yeah idc if it goes my way I’m a champ I take it to the chin lol. But it’s usually weird when I do it idk why. I’m overall just shy but I’ve had guys treat me differently if I was the one who asked vs them

Anonymous

#7 12h

Well that’s good to hear. Good on you for giving it a go!

Anonymous

#8 10h

And I think there are a lot of men who would say the same thing. So are we all just meant to live as hermits?

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Anonymous

strawberry_hair 8h

Oh I believe you, and I’m glad to hear your friend is doing better now

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Anonymous

OP 8h

About as well as we can. These experiences color everything. I’ve been followed home and yelled obscenities at. There’s a lot that goes into being a woman.