
I do something called “lock in”, which sounds a little silly at first. Don’t engage with people you don’t want to, don’t look don’t respond, just keep walking, talking, etc. if you don’t engage at first, they usually move on. Short and firm answers only if they find a way in or if they’re bothering you. The short answers exist until you can find an escape or until you can think of a response. Don’t laugh, don’t smile, don’t be friendly. If you find yourself doing it, drop it FAST. Don’t be-
I did this. It was hard and my methods were cringey, but it worked. Here are the things that helped me: - I met a man who helped me practice saying no. He told me to tell him no 10x and I was like what? How? And then he asked me if he could have $500, if he could have my mom’s number, and so on. As cheesy as that was, I think it actually helped
- I also saw a lot of consequences from fawning while driving. If an animal ran out into the road or a car pulled out, instead of swerving or breaking, I would freeze, which caused a couple minor accidents. This is kind of insane, but I became a better driver by practicing a little bit of road rage. I’d yell at other drivers when they got in my lane or cut me off, which made me more conscious of when I was in the right. I began to grow more confidence as a driver too, and made fewer mistakes
- finally, I stopped respecting men, and patriarchy at large. Women who suppress their feelings their whole lives get autoimmune diseases. Women who do what it takes to climb the corporate ladder are considered “bitchy,” men accuse them of sleeping their way to the top, and they face institutional backlash. Ultimately, as a woman in this era, there’s no winning in the eye of the public, so why respect the broader opinion at all? Ik that’s much easier said than done, but that is the logic …
Subtle, make it clear the smile or laugh was fake. You keep doing what you’re doing at the same time, but keep an eye out for escalation. If you can, you can start being slightly louder than normal. Talk a bit louder, yell a bit in appropriate places, get used to making a bit of a scene in places you can. Think putting your foot down a bit with a friend or going somewhere like the batting cages. A bit of a poor example, but you can yell a bit there to get used to it.