Ask Women on Yik Yak | i dealt with a guy who’s very manipulative controlling obsessive did anyone go through the same and how did you try to just heal when you are trying so hard to not to give him the reaction he wants. He fears when I am indifferent idk why

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Ask Women 18h

i dealt with a guy who’s very manipulative controlling obsessive did anyone go through the same and how did you try to just heal when you are trying so hard to not to give him the reaction he wants. He fears when I am indifferent idk why

Anonymous 17h

#1 step is to block and ignore. like you said, they thrive entirely on your reactions and how it makes them feel. deprive them of that

Anonymous 17h

I did a few years ago. Honestly idk but it was really hard for me to move on at the time because of the fact that I’d been manipulated and controlled and was scared that he would just find me again. Anytime I did leave him he would text me from a new number and legitimately stalk me. One day I finally just completely stopped reacting and acted as if he wasn’t even there or ever even existed. I still was thinking of him all the time of course just because of familiarity, but over time you start

Anonymous 15h

As someone who has been the controlling possessive and been in relationships with controlling possessives I feel qualified to give you advice of what worked for and against me: Be boring. Set boundaries that you’re comfortable enforcing (I’ll answer one phone call but if he calls again I won’t respond). Try not to be in the room with him (it gives them too much to work with)

Anonymous

#2 17h

To realize how less often you think about him and how he doesn’t even matter anymore

Anonymous

#2 17h

Yeah he uses other girls to make me jealous and stalks me so I had to block him. He uses silences to make me come Back. Like i genuinely don’t know whats so fucked up with him like he fears when I am indifferent

Anonymous

#1 17h

he’s really obsessive i doubt he will just move on even when I blocked him. He gets more mad when I leave

Anonymous

OP 17h

girl if the options are being manipulated and controlled or making him mad, you have to make him mad or you're stuck foreverrrrrr

Anonymous

#1 17h

yeah ik im trying im a person who has strict boundaries and he gets so mad that he needs to try more. All he cares is about being the center of my world like a child.

Anonymous

OP 17h

eeeeeYUCK

Anonymous

#1 17h

Ik but it’s so hard when i am both empathetic and also someone wjo has big self respect worth and boundaries it’s like i hold him up and make him see himself but then also fold sometimes when i know why he’s like that

Anonymous

OP 17h

well I wish you the best of luck but consider putting him in a box and shipping it to alaska

Anonymous

#3 15h

Communicate the boundaries too: “Hey, I’ll answer one phone call a day from you. Other than that, I won’t pick up.” <— the important part is enforcing it. He/we will test it. “Texts don’t count/video calls don’t count/I forgot to tell you something let me call you again it’s urgent” Just repeat to yourself that you’re safe, and you can leave whenever you want

Anonymous

#3 15h

yes thank you and also he treats me like a life line and I couldn’t handle it that I had to just block but I know he’s not over it why does he do that😭 is it bc he’s so insecure and unstable he keeps needing confirmation?

Anonymous

OP 13h

Yes. That’s basically it, also it makes people/me/him feel like we matter because we can get reactions out of you. It’s an insecurity thing and you can’t save or help him by feeding into it.