Anonymous #2 8w

That’s why I always say “I’m a girl too I just want to know why cus I don’t make that choice personally” so there is no possible way they’re misunderstanding me.

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Anonymous OP 8w

girls on here have literally threatened my life bc I asked why they prefer shorts with a shorter inseam to longer ones, bc I think it’s more comfy to wear longer ones so I don’t get a wedgie and stuff.. but they assume I’m calling them a slut..

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Anonymous OP 8w

i mean that i have personally had women judge me heavily for my choices and disguise them as questions (ex. the classic phrase being “i don’t understand how you can wear that much makeup i NEVER wear makeup i just don’t think it looks good”) so even when a question about why someone like something comes from a woman it can still be misinterpreted as judgmental by someone jumping to conclusions.

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Anonymous #2 8w

I think that’s a “them jumping to conclusions” problem, which is frustrating bc most women I encounter are like that it seems. I wish that more people in general were willing to actually think about why they make the choices they do on a daily basis.

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Anonymous #3 8w

But also, some people can just be defensive. I don't think anyone is necessarily "mean" about their interests (that I've met who acts like this) but there is a certain level of entitlement that comes with the "I don't need to explain myself to anyone" mentality

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Anonymous #5 8w

I always clarify that I am not a dude and I mean no harm tho???

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Anonymous OP 8w

ok so for example a lot of girls like to wear shorter inseams because they like the way they look better. i personally hate the way normal length mini skirts look on me so i only ever get micro mini skirts or full length skirts. i also don’t really like shorts with longer inseams cause i always get a wedgie either way, i like the way shorter inseams look on me, and long inseams feel too hot/restricting to me

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Anonymous OP 8w

i have to be honest, the way you’re responding to my comments, it does kind of feel like you’re being judgmental to these women that you’re asking questions to. i think for most people, being asked to explain the reasons they like something feels like an affront. i think you might want to consider changing your question to something a little less confrontational like “what do you like about it, does it just make you feel nice/pretty/etc. or is it the ritual aspect or something else”

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Anonymous #2 8w

i think even just that little change from “Why? to “what do you like about it/what are your favorite parts” will garner nicer responses. it also sounds like you usually have something specific in mind that you DONT like about X thing when you ask. consider asking “i heard/i thought X happened when you did Y, is that a myth or is it just not something that bothers you”

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Anonymous #2 8w

also, a lot of self care/fashion that young women do fits very much into a patriarchal box (what men find attractive). combined with what i talked about earlier (women always feeling judged for being too much/not enough) and the fact that you seem to be doing a lot of generalizations about other women based off bad interactions you’ve had, and that these generalizations are generally unkind, i think you may want to consider that youre unintentionally coming across as condescending with your tone

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Anonymous #2 8w

*which is being met with immediate aggression. (again, i’m sorry this is your experience, as it clearly seems like you’re just trying to gather information/other perspectives, but i’ve been able to ask questions like this before without experiencing anything close to what you’re describing, which leads me to think there might be a misunderstanding/miscommunication issue)

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Anonymous #2 8w

I think if my generalizations sound bad, we should blame the people who gave me the experiences that led to them instead. I always clarify based on my experiences etc, but genuinely I haven’t met many kind women on or offline. So I’d love to have a better experience but in MINE, MOST women are unkind. Also don’t women do this to men constantly? “Men are trash… no I’m just talking about the bad ones!! If you’re offended that’s your own problem!!” Is a very very common idea amongst women..

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Anonymous OP 8w

So why is there a double standard that women can generalize men but nobody, not even another woman, can generalize women based off their own experiences??? it’s not out of sexualization or original malice. It’s experiences. I think we should be looking at why I’ve had them.

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Anonymous #6 8w

I honestly haven’t had that experience much, maybe I haven’t tried enough activities? The only people who’ve done that to me were other women..

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Anonymous #2 8w

what about the look do you like better? personally I feel uncomfortable showing too much skin because I know other people are looking and can see and that’s just kind of bad feeling to me.. I guess.. is it a lack of care or something? I think the silhouettes of shorter skirts are pretty but I always wear tights with them for example, so that’s another thing I don’t get, not saying it’s wrong but I don’t understand the comfortableness of being stared at I guess?

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Anonymous OP 8w

Do most people know in the first place that you’ll be stared at ??? do they not know or not care, that’s my question i guess

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Anonymous strawberry_hair 8w

I always appreciate your responses to mine and others posts thank you strawberry hair :)

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Anonymous OP 8w

Omg really?? I have really only gotten it from men

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Anonymous OP 8w

No problem! I love to help

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Anonymous #6 8w

I think men always just want to sleep with women so they’ll pretend to be more accepting 😅

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Anonymous #6 8w

For example women bully me for my makeup but men sexualize it (goth lol)

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Anonymous OP 8w

I mean I’m alternative as well. I’ve gotten a lot of weird looks from men and women. Judgements from both.

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Anonymous #2 8w

i’m not entirely sure how to help from here. your original question asked why women can’t think introspectively, gave an example of a bad interaction you’ve had, and stated that you just want to understand. i have given you the best explanation i can as to why this might be happening, offered my own answers to the questions you wanted to ask other women, and gave you suggestions that will most likely improve your experience asking these questions in the future.

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Anonymous #2 8w

I HAVE blamed the people whove given you those bad experiences (and apologized to you more than once for them) but as i am not talking to them, the only thing i can do for you is suggest changes that might earn you your desired outcome. I’m not sure how relevant “all women do this so how come i can’t do it back to them” is to the conversation at hand, & i AM trying to look at why you’ve had them, but if your conclusion is that all other women must be mean, you’ve lost the plot a little.

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Anonymous #2 8w

it also seems like you may be neurodivergent (i say this because i am too). this makes social interactions harder and people can be a lot meaner to you because you’re accidentally breaking unwritten social rules and unintentionally offending people (NOT FAIR). secondly, some people just suck. its absolutely possible that you’ve just met a bad batch, but its unlikely. and for your criticism of women for not being introspective, you’re also refusing to be introspective about these interactions.

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Anonymous #2 8w

again YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE TREATED POORLY. but i have no contact with the people treating you poorly and i am seeing a pattern that suggests a reason you are having these bad interactions. the only thing i can do to improve is (hopefully) give you a single data point of a better interaction and suggest tactics to get better responses in the future

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Anonymous OP 8w

i always wear shorts under mine and that’s enough for me to feel covered. i personally have only ever felt or experienced one person staring at me in a way that made me uncomfortable like ever. other than that i don’t feel like i really get stared at. it may also be because i really like fashion so im always looking at everyone else’s outfits so i just assume people are doing the same for me (non creepy way) that being said i also only wear shorter skirts when im out with friends. and i have

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Anonymous #2 8w

an RBF so people pretty much leave me alone

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Anonymous #2 8w

I feel like I am constantly looked at 😅 maybe it’s just me. I love fashion too but I’m kind of bad at it, I just like to study it mostly and then never implement anything I learned 🤣 But sometimes “looking” is unavoidable, like when I walk up the stairs behind a girl to my lecture I can see the outline of her coochie lips through her spandex shorts and nothing else, I don’t WANT TO, it’s uncomfortable and I have to stare at my feet, I cannot imagine how that’s at all comfortable for HER either

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Anonymous OP 8w

is wearing shorts that leave nothing at all to the imagination to a 9:30 lecture comfortable, is it for attention (which is fine too I’d just prefer they admit it and be honest instead of lying, it’s ok to want attention too), do they not know how revealing it is maybe? I just don’t understand the choice, those shorts are like the kind you would wear UNDER a skirt, why remove the skirt? This is my line of thinking

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Anonymous OP 8w

They know it’s revealing, they just don’t care.

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Anonymous OP 8w

yeah idk? i am autistic so i ask these kind of questions a lot but i always approach it with genuine curiosity and honestly usually a desire to emulate the behavior and fit in better, and i honestly am usually met with great responses. i’ve gotten amazing tips on clothes, makeup, self care, etc etc from other women asking how or why they do things a certain way. and i am personally always open to sharing things as well when asked in a kind & curious way

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Anonymous #5 8w

I’m also autistic, but I don’t care about fitting in. But I am a very open book and am always happy, excited even, to share something about myself or that I know about, so to have someone get so hostile is just weird to me

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Anonymous strawberry_hair 8w

depends. there are definitely some (a lot of) people that know it’s revealing and don’t care. i think leggings are also what’s comfortable for some people. i usually just assume that when leggings are pulled up way too high and you can see everything in the front it’s an unintentional wardrobe malfunction (like accidentally showing your underwear) but i know there are some people that like that look when the leggings don’t leave anything to the imagination in the back. i think there are also

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Anonymous #2 8w

some people who like that it’s revealing, not necessarily because they want attention (or maybe they do idk) they just like the way it looks. i assume you get some attention or unwanted looks for wearing goth clothes, but you wear them because you like them not because you get attention for wearing them. it’s just the price you pay for wearing what you want and what you like. i think many women feel similarly about the clothes they like to wear.

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Anonymous #2 8w

honestly that’s the best way someone’s explained it and thank you for being kind and understanding ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Anonymous OP 8w

of course! i’m glad i could help (at least a little) im always happy to answer more questions and i hope you get kinder interactions in the future. <3

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