i think either way he’s going to feel bad because you want to bring toys and it’s already in the back of his mind that he’s a terrible performer (in other words, ‘she wants the toys because i’m horrible’ kind of thing). but it all depends on him and how he wants to deal with that afterwards, because he can either somehow get over his nervousness and the idea of toys and agree, or deal with the consequences of saying no and whatever follows that

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watch a porn video together, tell him to pick out a video that he likes and that you guys will do everything in that video they are doing if you’re both comfortable with it. that way he can show you what really gets him off without having to say it. I know it sounds crazy, but it works

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