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alright so I asked my crush out and she legit sat in silence for 20 minutes, and then says let me sleep on it. wtf does this mean?
upvote 16 downvote

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Anonymous 1d

She could be trying to figure out if she can handle a relationship rn. Like if she has mental health issues, is really busy, hasn’t dated in a while or just got out of a relationship she might not be in a good place to have one. She could also be trying to consider if you’d be good for each other. Mutual attraction isn’t enough; you have to create a dynamic where you are helping/supporting the other’s growth, giving enough space for them to be their own person, and fostering trust.

upvote 19 downvote
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Anonymous 22h

It’s a no.

upvote 18 downvote
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Anonymous 18h

Means no

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous 18h

Move on to someone new

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 1d

Couldn’t write it all on the post, so for my context I ended up asking what are we cause we both said we genuinely fw each other. We had a decent convo then I eventually asked

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Anonymous 16h

UPDATE: WE ARE IN A TALKING STAGE RN, so she has a kid and has BPD and a lot mental issues going on currently. she didn’t want to make it official cause she didn’t want to ruin me

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 18h

Like you really think she’d do the same if you looked ten times better?

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 18h

Goddamn, coming from a girl it’s not all about looks

upvote 11 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 18h

Oh so if he looked like her dream boyfriend she’d sit silently for 20 mins right?

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 18h

She could, it depends on what’s on her mind, maybe she has a reason dating is a tough spot, maybe been hurt before and commitment is hard or other reasons

upvote 17 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 18h

To me sitting silent is better than trying to nicely say something or putting in a fake act like “ooooh yeaaa um we…yeah we could go on a date I guess?” Silence means something

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 16h

MISSION ABORT MISSION ABORT

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 16h

Why abort

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 15h

First off, the kid could be a plus, but if you two don’t work out, it will break your heart and the kids heart too. Like losing a parental figure. Second, if she is “mental,” then I would stay away. Relationships should be somewhat stable, and if she is not, you’re just introducing trouble into your life. So between those two, unless your looking for trouble and can afford to lose ALOT of money and be in constant stress till you two split of die, I would not go for it.

upvote 8 downvote