Anonymous #1 3w

Can you say more about that pls queen?

1

Anonymous hellraiser 3w

i think that traditional mindset and dynamic can be a slippery slope that leads to women relying on men financially which is just not the best decision for many reasons. traditional relationship dynamics have historically given men more power and control

7

Anonymous hellraiser 3w

Absolutely! If he doesn't have it that's one thing. I was talking about men that have it and adamantly refuse to spend it or don't offer to spend it. Respect is not tied to finances, if someone lost their job and was tight on $ it's obviously not like I'd lose respect for them.

1

Anonymous hellraiser 3w

I have my own money and plan on working so that's definitely not why the traditional dynamic attracts me or attracts most of the women I know (who also work, have Roth IRA, invest, have inheritances and trusts, etc)

1

Anonymous OP 3w

The way I see it, women now and historically have been controlled in society by limits on our access to $. There is still a wage gap, pink tax, etc etc etc. If a man understands that and takes interest in me I expect him to show me that he can protect and care for me and that he will put his $ down because he knows mine is less stable/guaranteed simply because I'm a woman.

1

Anonymous OP 3w

It's like him saying "we do not have a 50/50 world so I do not expect you to go 50/50 in our relationship. I will take the lead on financial things because I know I earn more/have the opportunity to earn more"

1

Anonymous OP 3w

In a crass way it's like "what's his is ours and what's mine is mine". I haven't met many guys in my town who don't understand and participate in that viewpoint or at least respect it.

1

Anonymous OP 3w

I’m a broke college student, so I don’t expect another broke college student to be paying for everything. I learned how to finance my money well and don’t mind paying, if I am able to afford it

7

Anonymous #1 3w

Very fair. I'm almost out of college and thankfully doing well with $ and because of my age most guys who I'd be dating have big boy jobs already so it's a little different for me!

1

Anonymous OP 3w

I don’t think it’s as different as you think, I’m a senior and about to graduate but never would expect a guy that has a big boy job to still spend on everything for me. This is very hypothetical if I were to date a guy with an actual job rn. I also view it as a way of them being able to like turn it back on me, but that’s just a fear of my own.

2

Anonymous #1 3w

I understand that fear girl. Historically men have used dates/dinners/gifts as a way to buy or trade s*x from women. That is always a risk that exists between the lines of it all. I think the most important thing I remember when it comes to that is that good men and abusive/manipulative men exist everywhere regardless of money, class, etc. If a man simply isn't the type to do that, he simply won't.

6

Anonymous #1 3w

Since I don't subscribe to the idea that women should put out because a guy buys them dinner, I don't do that. And I don't pay for my portion of the dinner to "get me out of having to put out" send some abstract signal to the guy that I don't want to have s*x after dinner. I'm very upfront with that kind of thing before a date even happens.

1

Anonymous OP 3w

If a girl wants to go have crazy wild s*x after dinner or whatever that's totally her right! That's just not what I want so it's not what I do yk

1

Anonymous #3 3w

That's only bc in the past I've never actually been treated to anything or ended up having to provide most things in a relationship

1

Anonymous #3 3w

But I'm the type where if you pay for dinner I'll pay for drinks afterwards

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Anonymous #3 3w

So 50/50 in that sense

2

Anonymous #3 3w

Oo very you buy the tickets and I'll buy the popcorn. I do like this kinda vibe

6

Anonymous #3 3w

Everyone should be treated and spoiled and cared for! Like I personally show my love through gifts and kind acts so it's not like I'm saying the guy shouldn't be shown love or anything. I just wouldn't understand a guy who adamantly refused to take care of things every time when money was involved.

4

Anonymous OP 3w

I totally get this because its the same for me! My love language is quality time and gift giving and my gifts have always been huge so in a way I want to feel that being reciprocated as welll

1

Anonymous OP 3w

Bruh I’ve never been out with a guy so obviously I’d make it known that id never let them think that’s a way of them getting into my pants.

1

Anonymous #1 3w

Period girl that kind of thing is important

1

Anonymous #3 3w

Exactly

1