Anonymous history_addict 2w

Ugly is pretty subjective? If a normal looking guy can’t ever find ANYONE interested in dating him though then his looks probably aren’t the issue.

15

Anonymous #3 2w

What’s your relationship with your guy friends like? Female family? And are you talking to those women platonically for friendship or are you trying to get more out of it? Cause any of those, community groups, clubs, or therapy (if need be) can help with socializing.

28

Anonymous OP 2w

I’ve had a girl want to date me, but I didn’t find her attractive

1

Anonymous OP 2w

I have 2 close friends that I talk to regularly, the rest are not good people I don’t talk to often. I’m very close with my family. I don’t have too many issues talking to women but the first date rolls around and I’m ghosted and stood up. So I do think looks play a decent part

5

Anonymous history_addict 2w

Okay? Not sure what to do with that information lol

22

Anonymous #3 2w

Do these women know what you look like in advance before the date?

12

Anonymous OP 2w

In other words, I have had a girl want to date, but she wasn’t a normal-looking girl.

1

Anonymous history_addict 2w

That probably sounds bad, sorry

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Yeah, I ask them for their number or snap or whatever they’re comfortable with. We talk really well for a couple days and I ask them to a date. We continue talking super well until the date, then it’s a no show ghost

1

Anonymous history_addict 2w

If you’re a normal looking dude and have only had one person who wasn’t “normal looking” (in your own words) show interest in you and no other women then that probably means your personality or social skills are the issue

16

Anonymous OP 2w

I have had at least a couple other women show interest in me, but Ig ur point still stands

8

Anonymous #3 2w

If they’ve known what you looked like the entire time it sounds like your looks aren’t the problem lol. Looks playing a decent part would only be the main factor if they suddenly stopped being interested AFTER they saw your face. In this case they know what you look like and lose interest after you all start talking, which sounds more like a personality/chemistry thing. That’s not me saying you’re a bad guy btw. It could just be that you haven’t met a woman who matches your vibe yet.

14

Anonymous OP 2w

You’re probably right, I always thought the conversations I’ve had were good, quick responses and it never seemed dry or forced. Staying up way late just talking and then it always ends at the first date

8

Anonymous #3 2w

Yeah it takes time to find someone you really click with but the fact you’re getting to at least that date is a good sign. Keep learning and improving and it’ll work out in no time!

9

Anonymous #4 2w

#4 is right when it comes to dating, which is why I refuse to use Tinder and Hinge

3

Anonymous history_addict 2w

*when it comes to dating apps

7

Anonymous #4 2w

Given there are usually more men on dating apps than women, some people are using it purely for hookups, revenge, or social validation (in which case they’re going to be shallow about who they go for), and that a functional profile doesn’t = being romantically compatible I wouldn’t use that as the best measure for dating. An app is going to be pretty surface level by nature and you’re not gonna match with most people.

10

Anonymous OP 2w

If you think irl is any better for a man idk what to tell you

5

Anonymous #7 2w

Says the incel that we’re clearly talking about. Your logic is the problem not other men and not other women. Fix yourself and your insecurity and then talk

18

Anonymous #7 2w

You know there are plenty of guys who aren’t rich, don’t have abs, and aren’t 6 ft in relationships right 😭 Bestie please look outside and you’ll see it.

10

Anonymous #5 2w

Ah yes stating what actually happened in practice and not hypotheticals makes me a Incel

-3

Anonymous OP 2w

I’m not saying there aren’t any but there surely aren’t many. Women like douchebags that look good, that’s just what happens in practice. Shit I’ve had a girl say I’m not toxic enough for her! The top 1% of guys get all the attention and chances while there’s good dudes who never got a shot

-2

Anonymous OP 2w

Also wdym by social skills because I stg if you think social skills are understanding your secret codes then the problem you are talking about is women not communicating. Men aren’t mind readers they are human

-3

Anonymous #7 2w

Your experience isn’t everyone’s tbh

9

Anonymous #5 2w

Maybe ppl don’t like you bc you suck. Not really the height or money

9

Anonymous #7 2w

None of my female friends in relationships and none of my boyfriend’s friends fit any of the things you described here. A few are over 6ft but others are 5ft 7, some make 6 figures but others are bouncers making 40k if they’re lucky. All of them are in committed relationships despite that. My boyfriend isn’t any of those things and I was making more than him when we started dating. Most dudes in relationships are not the 1% unless you think 99% of ALL MEN are single.

12

Anonymous OP 2w

Mine is just fit. No abs just fit. And he’s short (he’s 5’8 which I guess to men nowadays if youre not 6ft and above you’re short but he’s tall to me). He makes decent money but definitely not rich. I just like his vibe and personality. And he’s a really quiet guy which I liked as well. But I have friends that fit none of those descriptions and have gotten more dates than me but apparently I’m the epitome of what men want so clearly there’s no one size fits all to dating

10

Anonymous #4 2w

Not saying it’s magically easy or that EVERYONE will be interested in you but if no one is or has ever been interested in you there may be other things going on

8

Anonymous OP 2w

I mean personally, I don‘t approach women, cuz I feel like there isn’t a point if u aren’t attractive

1

Anonymous #7 2w

My last two roommates are going on 2+ years with men they weren’t super super attracted to in the beginning, but their personalities and qualities won them over because they were GOOD MEN; they’re all incredibly happy (and attracted to each other) now! Yes, what you’ve explained is true in some cases, but there are MANNNNYYY many cases that are not that. Me and my ex are also examples like other girls here shared. And we had a great relationship

6

Anonymous #5 2w

Yeah my bf is 5ft10 and a little overweight. We work out together but he’s still got a tummy, and like I said I was making more than him when we started dating and I wasn’t making 6 figures. But I really like who his is as a person, how funny, quirky and caring he is, the way I feel safe and seen around him and all of those things make him gorgeous in my eyes even if he just looks normal to most people.

2

Anonymous #9 2w

Ya’ll never find avg guys attractive right away. We always need to prove ourselves 🙄

-3

Anonymous history_addict 2w

If they date us, they’re always “settling”

-3

Anonymous OP 2w

I’ll probably stay single, cuz I don’t want to be w/ someone who doesn’t think I’m physically attractive

-3

Anonymous history_addict 2w

You mean if someone’s not hot people won’t find them hot right away? Yeah that’s how being a regular person works. But hotness is subjective. People don’t even agree on what models or celebs paid for their looks are attractive. And the thing is a hot person is hot to look at but that’s not the basis for a real relationship. They open their mouth and people lose interest or don’t actually like them. Someone who thinks you’re hot after getting to know you likes you for you and that’s gonna last.

2

Anonymous OP 2w

Like the “work” in this case is literally just being yourself while the other person does the same and see if y’all are compatible. My bf and I clicked cause we both bonded over mythology 🤷‍♀️

4

Anonymous OP 2w

I rather be hot so ppl liked me automatically.

0

Anonymous OP 2w

I don’t believe in the connection ur talking abt

1

Anonymous history_addict 2w

I mean I’ve never settled for my exes they just ended up being really shitty ppl with horrible insecurities and blamed them on me for some reason. It was the arguments that broke us up not the looks

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Just world fallacy

1

Anonymous history_addict 2w

But they won’t. You’re confusing being objectified with being liked. They’ll like your FACE or your body, not any of the things that actually make you you like your humor, hobbies, personality, laugh, voice or anything else about you. And if they don’t like those things they’ll quickly lose interest or just tolerate you because of what they can get from you.

3

Anonymous OP 2w

Being myself never has worked. I can’t see it working. I hate myself

1

Anonymous #5 2w

Yeah I definitely don’t feel like I’ve settled for my bf. He’s legit the best man I’ve ever been with and considering a lot of our normal looking friends are married or in long term relationships they probably think the same

2

Anonymous OP 2w

Nobody will like me for who I am. I’m too different.

-1

Anonymous history_addict 2w

I don’t know what it is abt me. Nobody ever finds my personality attractive

1

I just get down sometimes, like rn. I’m feeling down and I’m angry

1

Anonymous history_addict 2w

Going to therapy will probably help you figure that out

7

Anonymous OP 2w

If I’m going to be alone, I might as well kms

-3

Anonymous history_addict 2w

You’re a very hopeless person to talk to and I’m sure plenty of women notice and don’t even bother talking to you very long in person

5

Anonymous OP 2w

Sorry. I’m saying a lot of things out of emotion rn

1

Anonymous #5 2w

I never talk to women cuz I’m afraid to

1

Anonymous history_addict 2w

Yeah sounds like you don’t know how to process or what to do with these emotions? I won’t tell you you can’t want a gf but wanting one should motivate you to improve, go to therapy, to help you deal with those self loathing thoughts so that you can meet someone one day. The solution isn’t to kys. It’s to address the thoughts making you feel like that and overcome them cause doing THAT is how you won’t be alone.

5

Anonymous #5 2w

Thankfully, I’m too much of a pussy to do anything….

1

Anonymous history_addict 2w

That’s legit what my bf did years before we met and because of that when we met he was actually ready for the kind of relationship he wanted way back when he was depressed

2

Anonymous history_addict 2w

Do you find “average women” attractive right away?

2

Anonymous #11 2w

Actually yes 😭

2

Anonymous history_addict 2w

But I find at least smthg attractive abt most women

2

Anonymous history_addict 2w

If you’re very “different” it might make it take a little longer or he a little harder to find the person for you, but people have pretty different tastes. There are plenty of women who are “too different” too and if you work on yourself, take care of your physical and mental health to be the best version of you then you’ll be ready for someone who’s the right kind of “too different” for you when you meet her

7

Anonymous #11 2w

The female version of me doesn’t like me. I tried making smthg happen w/ her, but she didn’t want any part of it.

1

Anonymous history_addict 2w

It’s the one time I actually was open w/ a girl who I liked

1

Anonymous history_addict 2w

She was taller than me, so there’s that (she’s 5’8-5’9, I’m like 5’7).

1

Anonymous history_addict 2w

The girl claimed it wasn’t cuz of height

1

Anonymous history_addict 2w

May come as a shock but there’s more than one “too different” woman or “female version” of you in the world

3

Anonymous OP 2w

I suppose

1

Anonymous history_addict 2w

The right kind of too different for you isn’t necessarily the female version of you, it’s someone who the way she is different works well with the way you’re different, it doesn’t mean you have to be just like each other And again, work on yourself, take care of yourself physically and emotionally, that makes a really big difference

2

Anonymous #13 2w

Bruh we don’t chase because we were taught to respect boundaries and if you create distance to respect that lmao. You will always move on to the next till you find a creep that won’t stop chasing I guess

9

Anonymous #7 2w

Fuck a boundary. I’m not no sissy I know what I want.

-3

Anonymous #13 2w

No no, the rest of us very much want to not be harassed.

6

Anonymous #14 2w

Ugh

-2

Anonymous #7 2w

My guy. That internet stuff is designed to make you feel angry and lonely. You then seek out more content in attempt to satisfy your loneliness, and you only end up more disconnected and more lonely. Content creators and social media companies profit off your attention. They want to keep you lonely forever, so they keep showing you content that promotes bitterness.

2

Anonymous OP 2w

OP any advice to overcome the passive aggression/banter. I don’t care much for it and that just leads to me not caring about the dyad. I can hit no problem just its an act of god for me to actually like a woman:

1

Anonymous #15 2w

Sorry what’s dyad?

1

Anonymous #14 1w

Thank you.

1