Anonymous OP 3w

Before I get a bunch of hate let me clear that unless you’re talking about someone’s actual public sexuality, “gay” “fruity” “zesty” should not be in your vocabulary

11

Anonymous OP 3w

I’ve never met a woman who does that. However just yesterday there were men on here saying women need to act more like our mothers and grandmothers so it definitely does go both ways whether you see it or not

-5

Wtf my comment got deleted

7

I don’t understand what I said for that to be deleted but do you notice how quickly you went from “this never happens” to “I call it out”

12

Like those cannot both be true lmao they are mutually exclusive points

9

Myf wasn’t trying to accuse you I was j shouting into the void about it lmao

7

Yeah same here, and that may be because I have seen and heard it from straight women predominantly but I feel like you may be intentionally ignoring my point here and I’m kind of tired of restating it

4

Lmao

2

Anonymous OP 3w

Well good luck finding a women who knows women who do this lmao

0

Anonymous #2 3w

I feel like this is kinda my point too though, not that women have any reason for men to be in their good graces but do these women realize how harmful those things are to gay men too? Like I often hear or see it from women that otherwise consider themselves allies but have no issue saying stuff like it

1

Anonymous OP 3w

So they realize it’s harmful for men and gay men but not for them too? Or they don’t realize it’s homophobic to call someone gay for “doing gay stuff”? This is really what I was trying to wrap my mind around with this post

1

Anonymous strawberry_hair 3w

Yeah exactly! I guess I wasn’t clear enough with my post but this shit is also not fucking cool when men do it but for some reason I feel like everyone gets it’s homophobic/harmful when it’s coming from a man? But there’s some sort of blindside for women I feel, maybe I’m wrong

1

Anonymous OP 3w

This is also a rhetorical I suppose but if anyone has insights lmk haha #2 I just don’t want you thinking you gotta answer all of those perfectly for me

1

Anonymous OP 2w

No you are absolutely right! It’s a stereotype, especially because being gay hasn’t really been socially acceptable for a long time. Women being queer is seen as attractive and men being seen as queer is disgusting and either way it’s really unfortunate. Here’s the thing: I feel like most men don’t really care about it being hurtful and women care more. And just refuse accountability for themselves.

2

Anonymous strawberry_hair 2w

Can you explain a bit more what you mean by the last couple sentences? Not sure I’m understanding what you mean

1

Anonymous #4 2w

Hey friend so what you’re describing is, in fact, promoting toxic masculinity. And you should not using the term fruity unless you’re gay/queer because.. the joke.. is homophobia..

1

Anonymous OP 2w

As a queer person, if you always assume “gay” “fruity” or “zesty” is an insult, then YOU might be homophobic lol

4

Anonymous OP 2w

I would disagree completely, maybe it might seem homophobic to u but the intentions behind that word are almost never homophobic. It’s just an adjective it’s definitely not that serious

3

Anonymous OP 2w

I’m basically saying when it comes to calling men “gay” for normal typical emotions it’s more commonly men doing it, as they tend to care less. Women tend to see calling someone gay for typical things as bad (generalization). But when it comes to women making the generalizations they care less.

1

Anonymous #4 2w

Straight woman defending her right to call things gay to a queer man “well YOU might think it’s homophobic but you’re wrong”

0

Anonymous #4 2w

You know what you’re right it’s not a net bad at all for all of society to convince men anything not classically masculine is gay, toxic masculinity is super good for all of us you are both right

0

Anonymous OP 2w

Am I in the twilight zone? Did yall send us back to 2005? Like we cannot be serious rn lmfao

0

Anonymous OP 2w

You can be gay and be classically masculine

2

Anonymous #1 2w

No one said you can’t? This is like the strawman Olympics lmfao is it really that big of an ask for yall to have an honest open conversation about this shit?

-2

Anonymous OP 2w

You are the one creating the implication that gay = not masculine. Why do you assume that “he looks gay” means “he doesn’t look masculine”

1

Anonymous #1 2w

Bc when in history has any straight person ever said “he looks gay” about a masculine man??? Can we base this conversation in reality please?

1

Anonymous #1 2w

The post you are commenting on, my main question here, was about policing masculinity

1

Anonymous OP 2w

I say body builders look gay all the time

1

Anonymous OP 2w

I.e. when women use comments and allusions to sexuality to call effeminate or not “classically masculine” men “not real men”

1

Anonymous #1 2w

Again, I’m having to restate my point to you because you refuse to see it

1

Anonymous #1 2w

Okay fuck off I’m actually trying to have a conversation here but you’re just trolling

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Why do you think that being called gay means those things

0