Anonymous wing_leader 5w

Respectable

5

Anonymous #2 5w

And don’t explain how you acted. Apologize for your behavior and say you are reflecting and realized …

23

Anonymous #2 5w

It’s pretty emotionally deep is the problem, I wanted to ask if she’s open to that first: right now if I do it I’m leaning towards “Hey, there’s something I’ve been carrying for a while and want to share with you. Are you open to that?”

5

Anonymous #3 5w

People don’t like paragraphs OR “hey”. A short simple message that doesn’t put pressure on them and still says the apology is the best and most sincere way.

3

Anonymous #3 5w

Also like #2 said, do NOT try to explain yourself. That comes off as being insincere and trying to justify yourself and make excuses. Even if they’re real reasons, people always take them as excuses. I know because I’m autistic and I over explain my thought processes when I make a mistake and people have gotten SO mad at me thinking I’m trying to make excuses. It’s just never a good idea.

3

Anonymous OP 5w

No, be specific. “Hey, I’d like to talk about x,y,z. Here’s what I’ve learned, I’ve just been carrying this for a while and wanted to share it with you. Are you open to talking more in depth about it with me?

9

Anonymous #3 5w

I like the longgg paragraph a lot more than them being like I’m just doing this to make myself feel better

3

Anonymous #3 5w

Thank you, I think the “context” does matter here but I’ll keep it out of the opening messages. I’ll focus on how I have a clearer view of what I did wrong and how I regret it. I might tell her how I’ve grown

4

Anonymous #2 5w

but it is inherently selfish. they don’t speak anymore, the relationship is over, there is no reason to ever text her if he doesn’t have something to gain from it. He wants to apologize because it’ll make HIM feel better about HIS actions while they were together.

3

Anonymous #3 5w

I also want to give her more context so she can have a more complete understanding of the dynamics

3

Anonymous #5 5w

sometimes a sorry won’t change a feeling

4

Anonymous OP 5w

If she hasn’t reached out to ask you, she likely does not care that much or wonder. If she has the ability to, and wanted to, she would’ve already. There’s no point in trying to think about what she would want. You aren’t with her. If I were her I personally wouldn’t care. She probably already wrote you off as a jerk if it was that bad, which can’t be fixed no matter what you say.

1

Anonymous OP 5w

for example my ex broke up with me halfway through our florida vacation. He came back a month later trying to explain and apologize but I didn’t care anymore. Just never wanted to talk to him again. I didn’t want an explanation or apology. It was what he chose to do and I’d accepted it and moved on.

1

Anonymous OP 5w

I’ll ask this: Why do YOU care if she understands “the dynamics” in a relationship that ended.

1

Anonymous #3 5w

Because maybe she became too cynical

1

Anonymous #5 5w

It’s been 14 months so I hope she’s calmed down a bit tbh. I know I have

-2

Anonymous #3 5w

Maybe she would like to know how much I matured as a result of our relationship

1

Anonymous #2 5w

Agree!

3

Anonymous #6 5w

I just want you to know that our relationship brought me closer to my faith. I’m sorry it wasn’t fair to you

1

Anonymous #6 5w

But that’s just me personally because she cheated on me and dumped me while I was mourning the death of my dog, not getting into medical school, AND I had just been diagnosed with a BRAIN TUMOR!

1

Anonymous #6 5w

I’m sorry to hear that, that’s an insane amount to deal with all at once. It must’ve felt overwhelming

2

Anonymous OP 4w

If it’s been more THAN A YEAR, just leave her alone, homeboy. She’s living life and you ain’t a part of it. Since she needed to “calm down a bit”, I can assume she’s better off that way!

4

Anonymous OP 4w

Why would she care??? You aren’t together. She probably doesn’t even think of you much.

1

Anonymous #6 4w

You seem biased

-1

Anonymous #6 4w

But your probably right, I fight the urge to text her every day and it’s not like I’m doing nothing with my life. I stay quite busy and have been pretty successful without her, my brain keeps coming back to it tho

7

Anonymous OP 4w

Mine does too man. It’s just brain chemistry yearning to feel the way we once did. But the person that we loveD and the person we want to contact are not the same….

3