Anonymous #1 8w

How do you meet men?

5

Anonymous OP 8w

You approach them and introduce yourself. But you just said not to do that…

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Anonymous #2 8w

I said women don’t like to be hit on, introducing yourself respectfully then leaving us alone is no problem

13

Fuck dating apps

15

I mean yeah but it also gives power to for-profit corporations with self-serving interests. They are ultimately not acting in the best interests of men or women, and I think giving these tech companies all that power by making it socially taboo to approach people in person is a mistake.

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Anonymous #5 8w

It’s not socially taboo to go up and introduce yourself respectfully. Women just don’t want to be harassed holy shit

6

Can you check who I’m replying to

4

No? And even if they were, nightclubs aren’t the only place you can meet women irl. I see your point about filtering out those she isn’t interested in who she has to worry about reacting violently to being rejected. If we were to move towards dating apps, I’d at least like one owned by a non-profit organization rather than a for-profit company. I still think virtualization has been a net negative for society though.

3

I think the solution should be to address violent and abusive behavior by men and make that unacceptable, and vastly reduce the likelihood of women experiencing violence when rejecting men they aren’t interested in, rather than making it unacceptable to meet or approach people irl in a respectful manner.

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Anonymous OP 8w

Of course women don’t want to be harassed! #4 said “Dating apps we live in the 21st century that’s the only place people go to specifically meet others” though, which implies #4 doesn’t think it’s acceptable or appropriate for men to go up and introduce themselves to women irl, even if respectfully. I think #4’s comments and reply to you makes that evident that is their pinion.

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Anonymous OP 8w

Naw some of yall don’t even like that, I’ve done that before at the club (how I also meet dudes I just start talking to them at the club) and they’ll just stare at you like you did something wrong and be like “you need to leave.” So sassy

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Anonymous #1 8w

You can’t expect everyone to want to interact with you lmao

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Anonymous #5 8w

Some governments have actually tried this in desperation to increase the population it doesn’t really seem to be working

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Anonymous OP 8w

That’s true. You don’t gotta be so mean about it tho yknow

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Anonymous OP 8w

There’s a difference between not wanting to interact with you and communicating that, and acting like it was an affront or that you did something wrong in going up to them and introducing yourself to begin with though.

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Anonymous #1 8w

Obviously people shouldn’t be mean but like what are you gonna do? Some people are assholes, don’t approach strangers if you don’t want to risk someone being mean lol

6

Yeah, there’s definitely a very vocal but substantial minority of women who share your mindset that it should be taboo to approach women in public or to express interest to women irl, hence why I’m talking about it.

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Anonymous #5 8w

Unfortunately some women just don’t want to be approached by men, but I think if you approach strangers regardless that’s the risk you take🤷🏻‍♀️

9

Sometimes I get uncomfortable when I see a man out in public. I still think men can go in public tho lol Being uncomfortable is a normal part of existing in a society

3

Also, most men who approach women are not intentionally trying to interrupt a women’s routine when they don’t want to be bothered. Some women actually do want to be approached in public, and while it is sometimes possible to distinguish by nonverbals like them having earbuds in, being perpetually on their device, or averting your gaze, it’s not always possible to accurately distinguish who is open to meeting new people or not without actually going up to them and introducing yourself.

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Anonymous OP 8w

That’s why I don’t then when I finally get the courage to do it I’m reminded of why I don’t 💀

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Anonymous #1 8w

That’s your choice to make, meet women other ways. I am also not the biggest fan of being approached, but I’m only gonna be mean if he’s being nasty

3

I definitely agree that to the extent women feel uncomfortable because men respond poorly to rejection or escalate things without consent shouldn’t be tolerated in society. However, uncomfortable is a subjective feeling and people can feel uncomfortable for a variety of reasons.

1

You seem to suggest that consent should be required to go up to someone and introduce oneself, and if you believe that consent should be required in order to ask for consent to interact with someone new, then I see how that naturally leads to the conclusion of limiting meeting people to online spaces. However, this seems very limiting to me, and I disagree with the premise.

3

Consent requires communication, and while there is a certain progression of things, if you make any form of communication require consent in advance, that’s a bit of a catch-22. To the extent that women don’t feel comfortable communicating when they aren’t interested in interacting and want to be left alone to their routine, I believe the solution is to prevent men from reacting poorly to being told such, rather than preventing men from initiating interactions irl to begin with.

1