Ask Women on Yik Yak | How tf do I talk to y’all 😭 never dated in highschool and I’m lowkey autistic. I do not get this shit

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Ask Women 4w

How tf do I talk to y’all 😭 never dated in highschool and I’m lowkey autistic. I do not get this shit

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Anonymous 4w

Don’t treat us all as ‘potential girlfriends’, if that makes sense. If a man can’t seem to be platonic with women, I know he doesn’t really see us as our own individual people. As for a ‘do’- just be clean, kind, and prepared to apologize if you do fuck something up. Honestly that last part is the big one

Anonymous 4w

no lie, be moderately put together and seem interested in us. We could be attracted to literally anything, how you play with your rings, if you shield us from the road while we’re walking, the way you grip your steering wheel. Be passionate about things you like and listen to us without intent to correct all the time. Sometimes, people just want to vent. Ofc not all girls are the same, these are just things that I like for me and a majority of my girl friends.

Anonymous 4w

You’re gonna have to learn to live with a lot of rejection, every woman is truly unique individual and opinionated when they feel heard and valued, being a good listener is where you start.

Anonymous 4w

Oh, idk what your experience is, but I can kinda relate to the confusion of navigating social interactions that a lot of autistic people seem to relate to. I often get confused interacting with people. A few people I know suggested I might be autistic, so it’s a possibility but idk.

Anonymous

#2 4w

I think what happens in practice is I end up being over apologetic for non-issues and then genuinely earnestly truly do not even recognize when I’ve done an actual faux pas. I meant this in the context of the dating scene specifically, so these people *would* all be potential girlfriends, as I would be their potential boyfriend. I do think friendship comes first though- if that’s what you mean. I wouldn’t date anybody I didn’t also consider a friend. I gotta like you if I’m gonna love you.

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Anonymous

OP 4w

Makes sense!

Anonymous

#1 4w

This hasn’t seemed to work for me so far... I don’t have any rings though, so maybe that’s the issue 🤔 Usually when I’m speaking passionately about something I kinda just get fuck all in return, which makes me think I’m boring them, or being overwhelming. Like nobody seems to actually want to converse w me. Just listen idley, which feels discouraging.

Anonymous

#3 4w

I am a good listener, I DESPERATELY wish people would give me something to listen to! Every conversation I try to have ends up one-sided despite my efforts. Everyone says people like to talk abt themselves, but at least to me, nobody will :(

Anonymous

OP 4w

That’s such a shame, but also, some people themselves aren’t good listeners. That’s not your fault. I personally don’t recommend dating someone who doesn’t find what you have to say important or interesting. It usually helps to talk to people who have a similar hobby/lifestyle as you. My boyfriend is a friend of a friend and we partied a lot and discuss music before we dated.

Anonymous

#4 4w

Honestly, I just like to have interesting conversations. I have my own interests and will listen to other people describe theirs. Sometimes that results in friendship. Two times it resulted in dating. I’m not exactly LOOKING for a partner, just doing human interaction in my own way and letting it go where it goes.

Anonymous

#4 4w

I try not to worry too much about saying the wrong thing. Sometimes I do, and people point it out. Then I just correct my mistake and learn from it. Occasionally I say what’s in my brain and it comes out all wrong, but then it’s just something to laugh about. I am female though, so I don’t have the added layer of trying not to act like a predator. But really, if you see other people as humans that matter and just be yourself, perceptive people will see you as you are and like you for it.

Anonymous

#4 4w

See- I just want to talk to people like you. Nobody even attempts to match my rambling. I think I really just need to date other aspies, but other aspies don’t seem to want to date *me*. The trying not to act like a predator is what often gets me. I’m afraid to show any form of admiration or affection to someone I don’t comfortably know, out of fear people will assume mal-intent. Or that I’ll screw it up later. “Be yourself” really has not worked out for me.

Anonymous

#4 4w

I try to start by looking for people I’d get along with before I even consider making any moves, but usually that’s where it dies. The “hey! What kinda stuff are you into?”