Ask Women on Yik Yak | need serious advice. one of my friends is a good friend when she’s sober but when she drinks says hurtful things to me. she always apologizes after and tells me she didn’t mean it but the comments still affect me. is it worth it to keep this friendship?

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Ask Women 2w

need serious advice. one of my friends is a good friend when she’s sober but when she drinks says hurtful things to me. she always apologizes after and tells me she didn’t mean it but the comments still affect me. is it worth it to keep this friendship?

Anonymous 2w

No- if she’s a mean drunk she should stay sober. That’s on her

Anonymous 2w

i don’t know if i have the best answer either way since that’s obviously a tough situation to be in no matter what but i am wondering since i think that it matters, is it mean stuff that makes you think that she doesn’t like you or want to be your friend or respect you as one? like a drunk words are sober thoughts thing? or is she saying mean things about things about you that wouldn’t matter to a friendship? like just general kinda mean bullying stuff

Anonymous 2w

I would give her the ultimatum of still being friends but no drinking in your proximity from now on

Anonymous

#1 2w

Idk what to say to her she wrote me so many paragraphs apologizing basically begging not to end our friendship over it but I feel like something bad happens everytime I’m with her and she can’t control herself. Should I say if we go out together again that she has to stay sober or only 1 drink?

Anonymous

#3 2w

It’s a combo. I’m thinking back on our whole friendship and now that I think about it every single night we drink it ends badly. It used to be just her leaving me for a guy or kinda ignoring me but recently she’s starting fights with me or the friends I introduce her too. I always brushed it off since they were never direct comments to me but she just recently made a really rude comment about a guy that hurt me basically she was making fun of me and saying it’s embarrassing I let that happen

Anonymous

OP 2w

And she said that in front of my other friends so it was rlly embarrassing. She always apologizes the next day but it’s getting tiring that she can’t control herself and that comment will always stick with me cause I was already insecure of the whole situation

Anonymous

OP 2w

again i’m in no way asking this bs i think that any answer excuses the behavior in at all it just feels relevant to understand the situation (that sounds really stressful and embarrassing for her to act so different so quickly) but is she like this with any of her other friends? what is she starting fights about? like does it seem like she has issues with the friendship/you that are coming out in this way

Anonymous

#3 2w

I don’t mean to sound rude or like I’m dissing her at all but she doesn’t really have any other friends and I think this is why. She just gets blacked out starts fights with anyone around her then apologizes the next day. It’s very repetitive and tiring to deal with. She seems to genuinely apologize and be upset that she causes a scene but then nothing changes. And this time just drew the line bc she legit brought up a private situation with the boy that I didn’t want anyone else to know abo

Anonymous

OP 2w

And literally insulted me in front of everyone saying how embarrassing it was that I let him do that to me. She immediately apologized and sent me long paragraphs but I’m just like, you said it so you must mean it, and idk if I can mentally put myself through this anymore

Anonymous

OP 2w

(But again she does try to be a good friend when she’s sober, that’s why I’m conflicted on what to do)