Ask Women on Yik Yak | When is the time/place to discuss my experience as a man being SAd by a woman. I think it’s important to talk about these cases, right now especially to avoid any social blindside, but I don’t wanna “cut off” the convo about men and the clear asymmetry

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Ask Women 20h

When is the time/place to discuss my experience as a man being SAd by a woman. I think it’s important to talk about these cases, right now especially to avoid any social blindside, but I don’t wanna “cut off” the convo about men and the clear asymmetry

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Anonymous 19h

i think any point it’s okay to talk about. it’s important for men to share their stories as well so other men can see they’re not alone and everyone can realize that this shit happens too. so many men don’t report or come forward with their stories because of social stigmas. you are valid and i’m sorry if you’ve ever felt shit down or diminished

Anonymous 20h

here. I’m just worried truthfully that a lack of nuance in the conversation will breed understanding that women aren’t capable and doesn’t do these things. That’s what my assaulter thought.

Anonymous 12h

I think the important thing here about how to navigate the conversation is to bring it up on your own- NOT directly after women or a woman is calling attention to her experience *in regards* to how so many women as a whole experience SA. That is cutting off the convo- but bringing it up on your own, like this post, is absolutely ok and I agree that the belittling of male survivors and the conversation about them needs to be had.

Anonymous 16h

All the time

Anonymous 4h

Never ever feel like you need to be silent. It’s always scary to come forward, there will never be a time that it’ll feel easy to talk about. EVERYONE deserves justice, no matter what gender the perpetrator is. As a feminist and someone who is vocal about these issues, you matter, your story matters, and you deserve justice just as much as any woman SAd by a man. The gender doesn’t change anything, it should be viewed and treated the same. I’m very sorry that happened to you

Anonymous 20h

Didn't you already ask this here?

-2

Anonymous 20h

they don’t care about you unfortunately. Any man calling out cornell is a performative clown. And the women don’t care that some men also get SA’d they will just tell you to shut up and stop trying to change the subject

-5

Anonymous

#1 20h

-1

Anonymous

hellraiser 17h

Absolutely agree with this. Your experiences are legitimate and worth sharing if you want to.

Anonymous

#2 13h

Hopeless take

Anonymous

#7 9h

Okay but this is what I kinda what I’m worried about. Like I’m never ever gonna just drop that info outta the blue lmao that’s crazy, but I’ve been in group conversations where women have talked about their experiences and the implications and evidence of social issues, and then others have too, so am I supposed to not share and chine in when everyone is talking about it? Im worried about coming off like you’re talking about, but also like when else am I gonna talk about it other than..

Anonymous

OP 9h

..when everyone else id

Anonymous

hellraiser 9h

Thank you for this. That’s kind of my goal to get other guys to feel comfortable opening up, maybe even reporting, cause I never did. Id really love to talk to another guy who went through something similar and I know that doesn’t happen without opening up. I also just know from fact and experience I will certainly be told I’m not a man for “letting” her, talking about it, etc.

Anonymous

hellraiser 9h

I’ve been told it wasn’t sexual assault, that women aren’t capable of that, that I was lying about how it happened and I actually assaulted her, that was the big one that kinda shut me the fuck up cause why the fuck would I ever bring it up in that case 1 and 2 that was basically what she told me to force me to comply, that she would “just tell everyone I did what she was doing because then it would be SA.” Also the reason I never fought my way out or reported. Lol

Anonymous

#6 9h

That just feels annoying tbh

Anonymous

#1 9h

That’s a whole diff question and no that’s not me lmfao

Anonymous

#6 9h

Like for me to do, to be clear

Anonymous

#2 9h

Yeah no need to be so general about all of that

Anonymous

OP 8h

Whoever told you that is at the very least uneducated, if not malicious. She is clearly malicious. I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir, but women can and do commit sexual assault and other acts of sexual violence — what you experienced is just as fucked up as what any other survivor of SA experienced, regardless of the gender of the perpetrator! I hope you have or find people in your personal life who are educated and sane and make you feel seen and heard and validated.

🍓

Anonymous

OP 7h

I think it’s a lot more how you do it. If it’s used as like a “men get assaulted too so your experiences don’t matter” (which I don’t think you would do) is disrespectful. If it’s done in a “I understand what you mean, here’s my own experience” that is absolutely welcomed. Everyone should be careful with phrasing with sexual assault not just men. Some women do even if unintentionally leave out male victims from the conversation and that is not okay.

Anonymous

#7 2h

everyone on this app is a keyboard hero, you guys don’t live real life. If he’s taking to a yikyak forum to complain about his struggles it’s because he’s gotten 0 help in real life because again no one cares about male victims

-3

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Anonymous

#2 2h

soo um actually we are in fact real people living real life as well. our views expressed on here are reflective of or real views and actions in real life ! sorry you’ve had negative experiences maybe ? but if u don’t have anything helpful to say im not sure why you’re on this post even.