Ask Women on Yik Yak | is it bad if my only friend is my boyfriend? i spend all my time with him. i have other friends but i never hang out with them. i put in effort and try to make plans but it never goes through.

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Ask Women 5d

is it bad if my only friend is my boyfriend? i spend all my time with him. i have other friends but i never hang out with them. i put in effort and try to make plans but it never goes through.

290

Anonymous 5d

no girl!! at least you’re trying fr, just keep putting in effort because having other people to talk to is so nice :))

160

Anonymous 5d

Could get "bad" if there is ever a break up or you start to subconsciously resent the fact that he has friends to hang with and you dont. Its not necessary bad but can be unhealthy, friendships are just as valuable as relationships, but as long as you keep trying I think you'll be okay

Anonymous 5d

I was just talking w mine about this the other day. Lol no. Just make sure that INCASE he leaves, you still have other friends ❤️

Anonymous 5d

I think so, you need more friends/just people to talk to. It’s good to be interdependent but being codependent and making each other your only world isn’t a typically good idea

Anonymous 5d

i lived with mine 18-21, lived in the dorms my first year but never went out bc i was always on facetime with him as he was back home. moved in together my second year. he was my everything, and i was his. we literally had no one else but each other. i had 0 college experience, 0 life, had 0 friends still to this day have never been to a party. ever. then we broke up towards the end of my third year and i genuinely considered unaliving myself because i had NO BODY. NO ONE. not one single person.

Anonymous 5d

i just left a relationship where my only friend was my partner. it gets super lonely if they’re your only contact. def recommend having at least one other friend

Anonymous 5d

Not a bad thing, but I would definitely see if you could branch out a little bit. I only say this as someone who’s seen a lottt of people break up and then not really have anybody else for companionship

Anonymous 4d

Not necessarily, I think it just depends on personal preference. Like me personally, I wouldn’t want to only ever hangout with mine because I know we’d get sick of each other 😂 and we need our space. Every couple is different!!

Anonymous 4d

maybe try to find girls in the same situation as you. Being friends with them could give you friends and give the boyfriend friends too

Anonymous 4d

definitely not. i’m a senior in college and he’s graduated, and i really only talk to people while in class, and about homework, or if i see them on campus, but i don’t actively hang out with them outside of school. i know darn well once i graduate, i wont talk to any of these people. but every day i get to come home and exist with my boyfriend and it’s pretty alright. we’ll find friends eventually!

Anonymous 4d

Girl I’m in the same exact boat, but if you do break up you always know how to make friends. Just takes some effort

Anonymous 4d

that was one of the biggest mistakes i made with my ex. once we broke up i had no one and it was so depressing. please try to hang out with your friends and make more friends

Anonymous 4d

definitely not. one thing i’ve learned is regardless of what ppl say it’s really important to prioritize your relationship. your partner SHOUD be your best friend cause that’s your person your spending eternity with. you can still have other girlfriends and close friends but never be ashamed to be closest to the one person who deserves it the most.

Anonymous 4d

Ppl be weird they do not know to control they emotion, it better to stay yourself even when yall break up.

Anonymous 4d

No. I’ve had an ex that’s going through that experience. She’s moved on from me, but she’s left all her girl friends for this guy and it’s not looking good. Plus it’s sad to see how her friends feel about it

Anonymous 4d

No! I have 2 friends and they live in other states, I cut off all my friends bc they were talking bad about my boyfriend and my relationship (they r all single and I think it’s jealousy bc it’s been 3 years we’ve been together with no issues and live together too) I don’t have anyone near me since I live with him now - I feel the same way but I think it’s normal

Anonymous 4d

No! I’m the same way!

Anonymous 5d

No. I feel you. I try to spend time with my friends but they’re always busy & never put in effort to see me. I’ve tried bumble bff too but everyone seems to ghost on there. Making friends as an adult is just tough

Anonymous 4d

It’s not the hottest idea to only have one friend (just in general) but you are actively seeking new friendships so I’d say your not in a bad spot. The importance of the fact that you have someone supporting you right now cannot be understated. It took me forever to find people I actually liked ngl so keep trying you’ll get it!😁

Anonymous 5d

It’s okay but I wouldn’t make that a long term habit

Anonymous 4d

🚩🚩🚩

🐂

Anonymous 3d

i recommend you keep trying to make friends outside your relationship in case you ever break up. this way you have a support system beyond him.

Anonymous 4d

Try to be a better friend to them, if I ever pull away from a friend that has a bf it’s bc they keep putting him before me (cancelling on me for him, never making plans with me)

Anonymous 4d

omg i wanna reply to all of you but just wanted to say thank you so much for all the replies! they make me so much better and not alone, you all had great points🥺❤️

Anonymous 5d

Same, I ended up marrying him and I’m 19 now and a lot of girls think it’s weird so I have like 1 friend 😭

-5

Anonymous

#1 5d

i’ve tried😫 i’m a second year in college now and i cant seem to make any new friends beyond surface level

Anonymous

#3 5d

we lowk both don’t have friends, we have like a couple we r close with from high school, but kinda just “friends” in college like surface level, don’t hang out with outside of school. i do try to make friends but idk though tbh i feel like i can only talk to him

Anonymous

OP 5d

This is me too fr 😭

Anonymous

OP 5d

Hey im just saying as someone who's been down this road having some friends outside of your partner can even be a life saver 🙏🏾 dont have to pour your heart out to them but its nice to have connections

Anonymous

#11 5d

i’ve found my peace since and have been doing better than i ever have before now that i made friends, go out, do things, and see the world. so moral of the story- yes. because he will leave, they ALWAYS do. ALWAYS. and you’ll be left completely and utterly alone. not to say don’t hang out with him but im begging you go out with girl friends, make more, find hobbies you enjoy. decenter these pathetic loser ass men and i promise you’ll be so much better off and happier than ever.,

Anonymous

#11 5d

Im so sorry that must've been hard. I was on the opposite end of this, i had several friends to lean on after my breakup after I maintained a good relationship with them. They're still here and he is long gone and I don't regret it

Anonymous

#13 4d

And congrats on having a boyfriend!

Anonymous

OP 4d

i get it i’m on my second year too and ive seen people have a hard time getting out there. i’m really extroverted so it wasn’t as bad. just keep putting yourself out there you’ll find some genuine homegirls

Anonymous

#16 4d

Yea I would feel the same way.

Anonymous

OP 4d

me too girl me too

Anonymous

OP 4d

I definitely understand that one there

Anonymous

#22 4d

…Until he cheats and ruins your life and sends you into 2 years of struggling with your self image and esteem I’d say it’s just as important to make sure you can get out of a bad situation or cope if he ends up being terrible. Many people lose their ability to be fully logical in relationships and may think he’s “the best boy you’ll ever meet” when in reality he’s just another hormonal college kid who wants a girl to teach him everything his mother/father never did but really should of…

Anonymous

#13 4d

like i said still keep people close but never feel ashamed of holding your partner the closest… they’re your partner for a reason. yea some people’s partners go and do terrible things which is why u still keep people close. but to have a healthy relationship u need to be able to understand that your partner should always come first. as a girl id be really upset if my man put his “bros before hoes” as the old saying is so why is the standard different for girls?

Anonymous

#22 4d

I probably have trust issues and have a different view on society but I view women who keep their friends just as close as her BF as stronger. For many, statistically, marriage is a parasitic relationship benefiting the man anyway. She will need a support system to tell her when he’s acting up or not meeting the bare minimum. On the other side I have an issue with “bros before hoes” but if a man is keeping a few people around as his direct support system I would consider him stronger as well.

Anonymous

#22 4d

You’re allowed to hold them closest obviousely but the problem the friends have is being cancelled on constantly for him or only being asked to hangout when their bf is busy…it’s rude. And like it or not you’re gonna lose all your friends if you treat them like that.

Anonymous

#20 4d

“Jealousy” is a common theme I’ve noticed girls who lose their friends say. I’ve cut off friends that basically disappeared when they got a bf but still have very strong friendships with multiple friends that have bfs bc they still made an effort. I’m gonna guess you’re the one that disappeared and treated your friends like shit.

Anonymous

#23 4d

EXACTLY I HATE PEOPLE WHO DO THAT

Anonymous

#11 4d

You’re someone I agree with out of all these comments. All the other girls say put the guy before your friends. Thats how they lose all their friends, NO friend is going to struck around constantly being cancelled on for a guy constantly etc. Its good that you realized how important friendship is and im sorry you went through a lonely time ❤️

Anonymous

OP 4d

I gotta be honest, as a girl who’s been consistently ditched by her friends for the bfs, I avoid people who either talk about their bf too much or post about him on social media like he’s the only person they hangout with.

Anonymous

#23 4d

yall don’t give us any chance to have a life outside of him

Anonymous

#23 4d

No actually! They told me to cheat on him because he went to the bar with his friends instead of coming over last minute and said he would want to cheat on me like all men do. They also would say in the room near me that “no one is that happy it’s all fake and I can’t wait until they break up” Thanks for the assumption though!

Anonymous

#23 4d

What a weird thing to say and assume about someone 🤣

Anonymous

#20 4d

Well if you truly still made an effort and they were acting like that then yes I agree with you. I was speaking off of my own experiences which I shouldn’t have done but its just happened so many times

Anonymous

#23 4d

I get it! I made an effort, I would go out with them to the bar and would hangout with them. After that stuff started happening I distanced myself because I don’t want to surround myself with others who talk negatively about people and pray on the downfall of the person or their relationships. I made effort until that point because to me that’s too far and actually insane.

Anonymous

#23 4d

the thing is i do try to make plans. i reach out and check in on them, i even tried planning a whole vacation with all of them, i get people can be busy, but i got no reply and they didn’t even acknowledge it even though they all said they were down. i really do try to be a good friend, and honestly i think i am a pretty good friend, it just feels like no one puts in the same effort for me.

Anonymous

#8 4d

aww why did this get so many downvotes? i’m 19 too and i feel like a lot of girls feel weird about relationships and i feel kinda judged sometimes tbh

Anonymous

#23 4d

ive honestly tried to be a good friend to my friends. i reach out to hang out always but i’m always the one getting flaked on. i barely bring my boyfriend up during conversations with my friends unless i’m asked about him. i am trying to make friends and be social trust me but it just ends up being just me and him always. but i get what u mean though and i don’t like people like that either and i have been in that position myself.

Anonymous

#23 4d

like it or not the friends in my life are mature and respect me enough to understand my relationship will always come first. as mentioned several times. i’ll always hold them close. even this OP said they made the effort to hang. But you can’t be surprised when someone puts their literal future before a friendship. It doesn’t feel great all the time yea but that’s sadly part of growing up and the ones who respect it are the ones who stay the closest.

Anonymous

OP 3d

Ik everyone says it but being in a club or org is a really good way to make friends. I’ve been in marching band since 6th grade and I’ve made so many friends.

Anonymous

#27 3d

the problem is i’m in clubs too😭😭😭 idk what i am doing wrong

Anonymous

#2 3d

do you think one friend is enough? i do have one really close friend but we hang out like once a month i think out of everyone she’ll prob be the only one that lasts forever

Anonymous

#11 3d

i am so so sorry you had to go through that. i will keep that all in mind. thank u for ur advice and i’m so glad you’re doing well now❤️ i def have my own hobbies, but i have no girls who ever wanna go out with me:( i really wish i had a girl friend group.

Anonymous

#7 3d

i try to branch out😭 idk what’s wrong w me but i cant make a close friend

Anonymous

#12 3d

yes i really want to, where do you think i could find out couples 😭 i wish there was a couples club at college we can join LOL

Anonymous

#19 3d

awww i love to hear that. yeah honestly i know people judge me for spending so much time with my boyfriend but that’s literally my best friend too i love him and he’s the only person that really gets me

Anonymous

#23 3d

the problem is i’m not even cancelling on my friends ever, there r times i tell my bf i’ll be busy w my friends just to end up getting flaked on again. ive been the first to reach out and always the one planning everything. i’ve tried being a good friend. idk what i’m doing wrong.

Anonymous

#20 3d

YES literally! like so many of my friends/girls my age i talk to, they haven’t had a bf before / serious relationship and it’s like they don’t understand how i can love a man so much and would be happy in a relationship😭 i def do think jealousy can play a role in it since a lot of college girls r single and find relationships kinda weird

Anonymous

#26 3d

i’m so sorry you had to go through that. i hope everything is better now. i do try and will keep trying!

Anonymous

#28 3d

she said she does try, like a lot of us do and for some reason no one ever wants to hang out

Anonymous

OP 3d

Genuinely I was with him 2 years before I met them. They legit would say they wished we would breakup and that he is just going to leave me because all men do (just bc the girl got cheated on??) like I don’t get how someone could be so sour

Anonymous

OP 3d

good for you for trying, and yeah things are better now and i wish you the best!!

Anonymous 2d

And ur probably a man🤡