butt plugs, so serious they have kits of like three that go up in size, was my LIFE saver, that combined with lube i never experienced any pain at all with anal, i was also more comfortable preparing for it myself as i know my body and he can’t feel my pain, so i could use the but plugs untill i could fit the biggest one like an hour before and then use a toy on myself (like a dildo) and get comfortable with it then let him in, stretching and lube are sooo important