tbh, disenvite her. I paid for me and a friend to go on vacation in the spring, she didnt offer to pay for anything (which she didnt have to but it would have been nice) and spent the whole time talking to her boyfriend on the phone

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Argh! First I’d check any cancellation policies for places you’ve reserved, which will let you know if there’s a final deadline coming up. Then count a couple days earlier from that and tell her that’s the time you need the money paid.

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But depending on how reliable she usually is and what her vibe as been about the trip, you may want to begin coming to terms with the idea of her not coming. It’s hard to tell from here whether she really is trying to get the off and might succeed, or whether she didn’t really want to go and thought this was this was the least confrontational excuse.

1

Ultimately, I think it’s important to determine your own boundaries and be kind yet clear to protect your time and money. You can be strict about a deadline if needed (even up to the point of saying the trip is called off) without being mean.

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